People who really want to have a good time won't come to a slaughterhouse when we've gotten

entirely too many trouble-makers here. Too many, uh, 40-year-old adolescents, felons,

power drinkers, and trustees of modern chemistry. It's going to change.

And that sure sounds good. But a lot of the guys who come in here, we can't handle one-on-one.

Even two-on-one. Don't worry about it. All you have to do is follow three simple rules.

One, never underestimate your opponent. Expect the unexpected.

Two, take it outside. Never start anything inside the bar unless it's absolutely necessary.

Three, and three, be nice.

That may have been four things. I'm not totally sure, but we're not here to question the swasey.

We're here to bring you a Monday afternoon edition of TVTL, the show. That's probably too

beautiful to live. I'm afraid I just blew myself. My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host,

weighing in it, 191 pounds. Everyone knows the only thing we should be ashamed of is our bodies.

But, but, but I have a kaka-mami plan, like Kyle always do. But I'll probably end up sharing

with you at some point before this program is over. This program, um, by the by, is number 876

and a collector's suit. Hi, this is Luke's mom, Susie, coming tonight on TVTL.

On Monday, the first of August, which is where we find ourselves today, we've got a new segment.

TVTL is legal eagles. Can a hotel chain charge you for the crappy newspaper that they leave outside

of your door? It's literally a legal. According to one guy, I will tell you about that whole

uh, rastlin match. Also, uh, did you know that today is the 30th birthday of MTB?

And, um, Jen, in particular, has, uh, just hours. I mean, literally hours of MTB-related

conversation that we will, we will delve into here and just stay a few moments. A very important

television network in all of our lives. I think we can't agree. And I don't mean that's

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