Episode 80: Taking Sexy Back with Dr. Alexandra Solomon
The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast
Kate Anthony
4.4 • 574 Ratings
🗓️ 21 July 2020
⏱️ 52 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Are you ready to take your sexy back? As we enter another week of sex and intimacy month on the podcast, I am bringing you one of my favorite people to talk to about sex and relationships, Dr. Alexandra Solomon. Dr. Solomon is the author of the books Loving Bravely: Twenty Lessons of Self-Discovery to Help You Get the Love You Want and Taking Sexy Back: How to Own Your Sexuality and Create the Relationships You Want. She is also a clinical assistant professor at Northwestern University and a licensed clinical psychologist at The Family Institute at Northwestern University.
In this episode, we talk about the various ways women can reclaim their sexuality after divorce. We discuss the importance of attaching sexuality to oneself as opposed to someone else, shifting the way we teach and talk about sex, and how being vulnerable can aid in sexual healing. Divorce can leave you feeling broken and unsexy, but you really can own your sexuality and create the life you desire -- even in midlife!
Show Highlights
- What prompted Dr. Alexandra to write "Taking Sexy Back," and how it stresses the importance of reclaiming your sexuality. (3:00)
- Attaching sexuality to ourselves rather than to someone else. (5:59)
- Changing and shifting the way we teach sex education. (8:00)
- How the patriarchy has impacted women's sexual ownership and sexual power. (13:46)
- The spectrum of sexual coercion and manipulation. (20:00)
- Risk, trust, self-compassion, and consent. (29:05)
- How couples can navigate desire discrepancy. (36:02)
- How to talk about sex safely with your partner, when it doesn't feel that safe. (45:00)
Learn More About Dr. Alexandra Solomon
Dr. Alexandra Solomon is a clinical assistant professor at Northwestern University and a licensed clinical psychologist at The Family Institute at Northwestern University. She is the author of Loving Bravely: Twenty Lessons of Self-Discovery to Help You Get the Love You Want (New Harbinger, 2017) and Taking Sexy Back: How to Own Your Sexuality and Create the Relationships You Want (New Harbinger, 2020). She writes articles and chapters for leading academic journals and books in the field of marriage and family and is a regular contributor at Psychology Today. You can connect with Dr. Solomon at DrAlexandraSolomon.com.
Resources & Links:
DrAlexandraSolomon.com
Loving Bravely: Twenty Lessons of Self-Discovery to Help You Get the Love You Want
Taking Sexy Back: How to Own Your Sexuality and Create the Relationships
Dr. Alexandra Solomon on Instagram
Dr. Alexandra Solomon on Facebook
Dr. Alexandra Solomon on Twitter
Dr. Alexandra Solomon on LinkedIn
The Ultimate Divorce Survival Guide
Should I Stay or Should I Go Facebook Group
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the Divorce Survival Guide podcast, where we have open and honest conversations about co-parenting, separation, divorce, and the hardest question of all, should you stay or should you go. |
| 0:17.7 | I'm Kate Anthony, your divorce survival guide, and I'm here to help you navigate |
| 0:22.8 | some of the roughest waters you've ever swum in and answer some of your toughest questions. |
| 0:28.5 | I've been to hell and back, and now it's my mission in life to help you get to the other side |
| 0:34.2 | of this process with your sanity and your heart intact. |
| 0:41.4 | Welcome back to another episode of the Divorce Survival Guide podcast. |
| 0:46.4 | So we are coming into another week of our sex and intimacy month. |
| 0:53.8 | And today I am bringing you one of my favorite people to talk |
| 1:00.7 | about sex with and intimacy. Dr. Alexandra Solomon. You may follow her on Instagram if you don't. I think you definitely should. |
| 1:13.0 | And I also think you should read her book, which is amazing, called Taking Sexy Back, |
| 1:19.1 | How to Own Your Sexuality and Create the Relationships You Want. Hello. Dr. Alexandra Solomon is, she's amazing. She's a clinical assistant professor |
| 1:31.0 | at Northwestern University and a licensed clinical psychologist at the Family Institute at Northwestern |
| 1:36.6 | University. And not only is she an amazing writer and psychologist and she writes articles and chapters for |
| 1:48.1 | leading academic journals and books in the field of marriage and family, but also she literally |
| 1:56.7 | teaches a college course on how to be in relationship. |
| 2:04.1 | Like, you know how we always say, like, they don't teach this shit in school. |
| 2:07.5 | Well, guess what? |
| 2:08.4 | They do. |
| 2:10.1 | But you have to go to Northwestern to take it. |
| 2:12.8 | That's like one of my favorite things about her. |
| 2:14.6 | But I love her book. |
| 2:16.2 | I strongly, |
... |
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