Episode 695: Matt and Heather Robertson, Navigating Marriage Through Changes in Faith

Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler

Richard Ostler

Religion & Spirituality

4.8 • 839 Ratings

🗓️ 13 September 2023

⏱️ 89 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

My dear friends Matt and Heather Robertson (married 30 years, three children) join us to share their story of family unity, love, and respect for all family members in the various Church paths they are walking. Matt and Heather talk about Matt’s long journey which eventually led to Matt no longer participating in the Church and then resigning in October 2022. Matt and Heather (who still attends and holds a calling) talk about how they learned to talk about difficult subjects, listen, hold space for different perspectives/conclusions/experiences, and be united in their love for each other and their children. It is a beautiful love story based on principles of love, respect, communication, and grace. Heather talks about how her dreams/hopes for her family changed as her husband and all three children (two of which are LGBTQ) have stepped away from the church—and how she finds peace and hope. They talk about “let heaven take care of heaven, we will have no empty chairs now”. Matt talks about a wonderful local Bishop—who was curious, listened, and validated his feelings. It is a wonderful ministering insight into preserving the relationship—even if a ward member steps away or resigns. Matt is clear he is not inviting others to take his path—just sharing his story. Part of that story is a desire expressed in his resignation letter to his Bishop to stay involved with the ward community and help as needed. Matt feels that support as he is often asked to help (such as substituting playing the piano in primary). This one of the most powerful podcasts about how a mixed-faith marriage can and does work—and how Matt and Heather have learned new skills to make their marriage even stronger. If you are in a family where some are not participating in the Church and want to preserve the family relationship and have “no empty chairs” this podcast will help you. But it takes work on both those staying in the church and those stepping away. Thank you, Matt and Heather. I was so moved hearing you share your story. Your story will help so many. Honored to have you on the podcast. Links: Ministering to LGBTQ Latter-day Saints Facebook Group: facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143 Richard Ostler Books: papaostler.com Index of Podcasts: listenlearnandlove.org/podcasts

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome listeners to another episode of Listen, Learn, and Love hosted by Richard Osler.
0:09.9	In my home to do this podcast, and it's always a pleasure to have people in the home to
0:15.2	record podcasts are my friends Heather and Matt Robertson.
0:18.6	Welcome to the podcast.
0:19.6	Thank you, Richard.
0:20.6	Thanks, Richard.
0:20.8	Thanks, Richard.
0:22.0	I've done this good couple for several years.
0:25.4	Have they been walking the road as a parent of an LGBTQ child?
0:29.1	That will come up in the course of this conversation.
0:33.2	Well, it's just a little background.
0:34.6	This is a couple.
0:35.4	It's roughly in their 50s.
0:36.5	One might be over 50 and one might be under 50. And you can, they may disclose that or may not. They're pretty transparent. That's not a big deal. They've been married 30 years this year. They live in South Salt Lake. Matt works and teaches at Waterford School and Heather works in customer service putting
0:57.6	together teams and also has gone back to school.
1:00.8	This is a story about Heather, both of them being raised in the church, but Matt has resigned
1:06.6	as membership in the church and Heather continues to participate in the church.
1:10.8	And they may mention kind of their individual kids journeys.
1:14.8	And you may think that's sort of the end of the family or the end of the love story,
1:18.6	the end of enjoying being together.
1:20.8	But this wonderful couple has learned, no, that's not the way it's working in our family.
1:26.6	And this family is incredibly close. Yeah, it's different the way it's working in our family and this family is incredibly close.
	...

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