Welcome to Just Break Up, the podcast about love, heartbreak, and all the relationship advice you

don't want to hear. My name is Sierra DeMolder. And I'm Sam Blackwell. And today we're going to answer a letter

from somebody whose post-breakup fury keeps rising. But before we begin, we just want to give you

our Surgeon General's warning, which is that Sierra and I are not licensed mental health practitioners.

That's right. We are not professionals. We are not trained or accredited in any of this. So please take our advice as you see fit. We're only here to offer our humble musings to hopefully shed some understanding and maybe some laughs about the incredibly, but mostly confusing experience that is love.

All right.

You're ready to dive into today's letter.

It is coming to us from Queen of Swords, whose pronouns are she or they, who is writing to us from the void.

Hi, SAS.

Sam and Sierra is the acronym that they used.

Sass.

Long time listener, first time caller.

Thank you for all that you do for us out here in the void.

What do you do when the post-breakup fury just keeps rising?

TLDR, after taking a year plus to heal from a big breakup, I recently dated

someone for four months, were both genderqueer femmes in our mid-30s, and then she abruptly

broke up with me, and now I'm questioning everything, and on top of that, I may have been exposed

to an S-T-I. At first, I felt relieved and accepted the breakup.

There were problems for sure, and I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me.

But each week that passes, my fury is mounting.

The little problems that seemed like things we might work out as we built trust over time now seem like glaring red flags

that I should have protected myself from. Here are some examples. When I hosted them at my house,

...