Episode 65: How To Overcome Sexual Shame With Our 7-Step Process

Pillow Talks

Vanessa & Xander Marin

Health & Fitness, Sexuality

4.8 • 2.2K Ratings

🗓️ 18 August 2022

⏱️ 53 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Let’s talk about the thing that keeps you up at night. The thing that you don’t bring up over drinks with friends. The thing the that you don’t even admit to yourself if we are being honest.

Let’s talk about the shame surrounding sex.

Our Instagram audience tells us that 74% of us have experienced it in our lifetime, with 30% currently going through it. (But we’d bet real money that both of those numbers are much higher.) There are so many things that plague us when it comes to sex: body counts, sexual identities, doing things “the right way”, doing something too much or not enough or not at all.

It’s EXHAUSTING, but it doesn’t have to be!

Sex should be about pleasure and joy, freedom and exploration, certainly not about worry and regret. In this episode, we walk you through reprogramming the way you approach sex in your life, in 7 steps.

Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode65

Want a PDF guide with the 7 steps we talk about in this episode? Check out https://vmtherapy.com/7-steps-to-deconstrucing-sexual-shame

Go to GreenChef.com/pillow135 and use code pillow135 to get $135 off across five boxes, plus free shipping on your first box!

Transcript

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0:00.0	You often find, oh yeah no I don't have a problem with this, I don't feel any shame about this
0:04.0	and then he started to unpack it and you're like, shit actually I do.
0:13.3	Hello and welcome to the Pillotox podcast. Where are your hosts Vanessa?
0:18.0	And Zander Marin.
0:19.3	I'm a sex therapist with over 20 years of experience.
0:22.3	And I'm just a regular dude. We share the ups and downs in our relationship while giving you
0:26.8	step-by-step techniques for improving yours.
0:29.6	Make sure you subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips,
0:34.2	practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on
0:39.3	behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you'd had.
0:46.7	Today we're talking about sex and shame.
0:50.8	Ooh, big topic. How have we not recorded an episode on this?
0:54.6	It's taken us 65 episodes to get around to this one.
0:58.0	It's a big one. I mean, I think because it's so big, it's like how do you boil down
1:02.4	such a huge topic that so many people are struggling with into a single podcast episode.
1:07.7	But I think we've done it.
1:08.7	We're gonna do it. We're gonna show ya.
1:10.6	Hopefully we've done it.
1:12.4	So we turned to Instagram and asked people, you know, have you ever dealt with sexual shame?
1:17.6	Are you currently dealing with it?
1:19.7	74% said that they have dealt with it in the past and 30% said that they're currently
1:25.2	in a season of life where they're feeling a lot of shame and they're feeling shame like
	...

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