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Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler

Episode 649: Debra Oaks Coe, Belong Research, LDS Mother of Gay Son

Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler

Richard Ostler

Religion & Spirituality

4.8839 Ratings

🗓️ 30 May 2023

⏱️ 66 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

My friend Debra Coe (active LDS mother of 5) and longtime LGBTQ Ally joins us to share the latest research on Gen Z (the loneliest generation), their mental health and what we can do to help them feel needed and a clear feeling of belonging. This is the focus of her latest Op-Ed in the Deseret News in March 2023 (see show notes for link). Debra talks what we can do to be a “trusted adult” and what we can do to help people feel like they matter—in both our congregations and ward families. Debra shares some family story with her gay son Lincoln (who came out and married his husband Robert in 2017). She talks about how their family and congregation navigated this (part of their beautiful family love story). If you are looking for research, insights, and practical examples about creating belonging in your family and/or congregation, I encourage you to listen to this episode and share it with others. Thank you, Debra, for being on the podcast and your needed work in our community to save lives and bring us together. Podcast Links: Debra’s Deseret News Op-Ed: https://www.deseret.com/opinion/2023/3/20/23645047/religion-belonging-gen-z-mental-health Sheep Story: https://www.facebook.com/debra.coe/posts/10158288638770838 Earlier Episode on Our Podcast (Episode 16): https://soundcloud.com/user-818501778/episode-16-don-and-debra-coe-parents-of-a-wonderful-gay-son Ministering to LGBTQ Latter-day Saints Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143 Richard Ostler Book: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints: Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773

Transcript

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0:00.0

Welcome listeners to another episode of Listen, Learn, and Love hosted by Richard Osler.

0:09.2

My guest on today's podcast, joining me from her home in Utah County is my friend Deborah Oaks-Co. Welcome to the podcast, Deborah.

0:19.6

Thank you. I'm happy to be here.

0:21.4

Thank you for having me.

0:23.6

Listeners, when I stepped in this space in 2016, there were a few mentors for me who I kind of was looking for people who are active LDS and also supportive of LGBT people and including all the roads that they choose to take. And Deborah and her

0:40.3

husband Don became mentors to me and are still mentors to me. And they were on the podcast episode

0:48.3

16. That's over 600 episodes. That was recorded in April of 2018. And I just felt impressed to have

0:57.2

Deborah come back on the podcast. There's so many people that are new to this space since

1:02.0

Deborah first entered the space and I did that I thought it would be good for Deborah's steady

1:07.8

voice to share her insights with you.

1:14.6

When I stepped in the space, there are a lot of organizations, a lot of people,

1:19.0

and I kind of had to figure out my space within this broader space.

1:26.8

And so maybe you're trying to figure that exactly if you're an ally where the best lane for you to be an ally is, and I'm grateful for Deborah.

1:29.3

Deborah is the mother of five kids.

1:32.0

She's had a son pass away in May of 26 Marshall in 2017.

1:39.4

Her son Lincoln was married to his husband, and so she became an ally, actually, before her son came out as gay and married his husband.

1:50.0

And I've had the chance to meet Lincoln.

1:53.0

One of the things Deborah does, and she's an active Latter-day Saint, has worked so hard on suicide prevention and belonging.

2:00.0

She's written about 15 or more op-eds. We'll link to the

2:04.0

most recent one in the desert news about belonging and about Gen Z. She's often on Capitol Hill

2:10.6

lobbying for legislation to increase the safety of LGBTQ people. And so she's just this unique voice.

2:19.9

And her lane is kind of suicide prevention, working with the legislature, creating

...

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