Episode 63: Does Your Partner Care Enough About YOUR Pleasure?

Pillow Talks

Vanessa & Xander Marin

Health & Fitness, Sexuality

4.8 • 2.2K Ratings

🗓️ 4 August 2022

⏱️ 59 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Do you ever find yourself feeling kinda… disappointed after intercourse with your partner?

Or worse, faking it just to “get it over with”?

Maybe you’ve tried talking to him about it and telling them you need more, but he got defensive and nothing changed.

This episode has been a long time coming! We hear SO many stories from our audience about how men just don’t prioritize female pleasure as much as they should.

There are a lot of reasons why there’s such a huge orgasm gap in male-female sex, so we break it down into 3 main categories, complete with real-life examples. (Including an example from our own relationship!)

We firmly believe that everyone who wants an orgasm, gets an orgasm. This episode will take you through, step-by-step, exactly to make sure that happens!

Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode63

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Let's be honest, we might unload on a couple of things. We might get spicy. We got a little fired
0:06.0	up prepping for this one, collecting some of these stories, reading some of these stories.
0:16.4	Hello and welcome to the Pillotox podcast. We're your host, Vanessa and Zander Marin.
0:22.4	I'm a sex therapist with over 20 years of experience and I'm just a regular dude. We share the
0:27.5	ups and downs in our relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours.
0:32.7	Make sure you subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips,
0:37.3	practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed
0:43.1	bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you'd had.
0:49.7	One of our motto is, everyone who wants an orgasm gets an orgasm and it sounds pretty
0:56.4	straightforward, pretty fair. Everyone should get to have a good time. But the reality is,
1:02.9	this is just not happening in so many bedrooms all across the world. Including ours for a long
1:11.4	period of time and earlier on in our relationship. It was not happening for us. It was surprisingly
1:17.9	difficult. It's an easy concept to understand but a very surprisingly complicated one to actually
1:24.7	live out to practice in real life. Yeah, we get DMs every single day from couples.
1:31.7	Talking about how hard it is to balance out both partner's experiences. Let's be real,
1:38.4	the vast majority of these messages are from couples in male-female relationships and the vast
1:45.7	majority of the time. It's the woman reaching out to us saying, I'm not getting very much pleasure.
1:51.5	I'm not having orgasms. I'm not having a great experience. Yeah, is something missing?
1:58.0	Is something wrong with me? Is something wrong with my partner? Is something wrong with all the
2:03.6	messages I've gotten from the world about how it's supposed to be? It's just not feeling that way to
2:09.1	me. So a lot of these messages, we can see the nuances. We can see the gray area. We can get a
2:16.4	little hint of what we think is going on. But once we're real, we also get a lot of messages where
	...

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