Episode 54: High-Conflict Co-Parenting with Megan Hunter
The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast
Kate Anthony
4.4 • 574 Ratings
🗓️ 7 January 2020
⏱️ 61 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
They say that January is "Divorce Month." As the new year rolls in, you may be ready to finally make some changes. And if you are, you're far from alone. This is because of the number of women who hit the ropes following the holiday is enormous. In fact, that was me, on Christmas Eve, eleven years ago. If you believe your impending divorce is going to involve a high-conflict co-parenting situation, this week's episode is going to shine a light on some important issues for you.
My guest, Megan Hunter, is an expert on high-conflict disputes, complicated relationships and Borderline Personality Disorder. She is co-founder of the High Conflict Institute along with author and speaker, Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq., who developed the high-conflict personality theory. She is also the author of The High-Conflict Co-Parenting Survival Guide.
In this episode we explore how to maneuver in a high-conflict divorce. We discuss understanding the high-conflict personality, their motivation, and how to protect yourself. Megan also shares insight and wisdom about how to survive co-parenting with a high-conflict personality. She also offers a great reminder: take care of yourself first, get therapy, work with a coach (hi, that's me!), and focus on getting your head straight. Then, focus on the rest.
Show Highlights
- High-conflict divorce and disputes on the rise (4:45)
- Gender stereotypes and high-conflict behaviors (9:02)
- The four traits of a high-conflict personality (11:44)
- Understanding the motivations of a high-conflict personality (15:25)
- Conflating acceptance with continuing to be victimized; it's NOT your job to fix your spouse! (21:52)
- How to survive a high-conflict co-parenting situation (25:45)
- Some other co-parenting relationship techniques, including using the BIFF technique (47:26)
- How getting unhooked from emotions can be helpful (and what that means) (52:02)
Learn More About Megan:
Megan Hunter, MBA, is an expert on high-conflict disputes, complicated relationships and Borderline Personality Disorder. She is co-founder of the High Conflict Institute along with author and speaker, Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. who developed the high-conflict personality theory. Megan developed the concept of the Institute after 13 years in family law as the Family Law Specialist with the Arizona Supreme Court, and Child Support Manager of the Dawes County Attorney's Office in Nebraska. She is CEO of Unhooked Media, a U.S.-based media company and is the author of THE HIGH-CONFLICT CO-PARENTING SURVIVAL GUIDE (2019), DATING RADAR™ (2017) and BAIT AND SWITCH.
Resources & Links:
Megan's website
Megan on Facebook
Megan on LinkedIn
Megan on Twitter
Megan on YouTube
The High Conflict Co-Parenting Survival Guide
ROOTED LIVE is coming! If you think you might want out of your marriage, but you can't seem to find the courage to make a decision once and for all, and you're scared you won't have the strength to get through all that comes after you say those four words,"I want a divorce," then ROOTED is 100% for you.
ROOTED is my online coaching program which I will be taking LIVE in February. It's designed to help you FIND YOUR STRENGTH, BUILD YOUR CONFIDENCE, AND STEP INTO YOUR POWER. Learn more here.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the Divorce Survival Guide podcast, where we have open and honest conversations about co-parenting, separation, divorce, and the hardest question of all, should you stay or should you go. |
| 0:17.6 | I'm Kate Anthony, your divorce survival guide, and I'm here to help you navigate some of the |
| 0:23.5 | roughest waters you've ever swum in and answer some of your toughest questions. I've been to |
| 0:29.1 | hell and back, and now it's my mission in life to help you get to the other side of this process |
| 0:35.0 | with your sanity and your heart intact. |
| 0:45.1 | Happy New Year. I hope you had a healthy, happy, and restful holiday. My guess is that you may have spent a lot of it in turmoil. And as the |
| 0:58.0 | new year rolled in, you may be more ready than ever to make some changes. And if that's the |
| 1:04.0 | case, I got to tell you, you are far from alone. They say that January is divorce month. Yeah, |
| 1:10.8 | they needed that. |
| 1:12.6 | And I can, without hesitation, say that that's because of the number of us who just hit |
| 1:18.8 | the end of our ropes over the holiday and end up setting New Year's intentions to finally |
| 1:24.1 | make a change come hell or high water, which is exactly what happened to me on Christmas |
| 1:29.1 | Eve 11 years ago. So if this is you, please know that I have got you. I know exactly what you're |
| 1:36.3 | going through. Even if this isn't you, you know I got you too. But if you're at this stage right now |
| 1:43.1 | and know that you're going to need strength to get through |
| 1:46.6 | everything that comes next, I'm going to be running a live version of my program Rooted, |
| 1:53.6 | which will start on February 3rd. |
| 1:56.2 | So this is my six-week introductory program that's designed to help you find your strength, |
| 2:02.5 | build your confidence, and step into your power. So there's a link in the show notes, |
| 2:08.8 | so you can find out more information. And I'm going to be talking about it quite a bit in my |
| 2:13.9 | Facebook group coming up. So there's a link to join that too if you're not already in there. |
| 2:19.8 | So, I mean, here's the thing. You can get through this alone or you can get through it with the |
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