Episode 54 - Chronic Lateness
This Jungian Life Podcast
Joseph Lee, Deborah Stewart, Lisa Marchiano
4.7 • 2.1K Ratings
🗓️ 11 April 2019
⏱️ 64 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
People who are chronically late create relational problems with others and generate negative consequences for themselves, from embarrassment and guilt to loss of friendships or jobs. Chronic lateness evidences a split between consciousness and the unconscious: while the ego may feel distressed about lateness, the unconscious may be expressing an unmet need and deriving a benefit from lateness. That is why self-help strategies such as setting multiple alarm clocks and allowing extra time for travel seldom solve the problem of chronic lateness or feel satisfying. Lisa, Joseph, and Deb discuss possible unconscious motivations for lateness, including its role as an inelegant effort at individuation.
The dream:
I begin the dream in a giant mall-like building. It stretches as far as I can see. There are no stores or other people. There are only dozens of escalators at different levels leading different places, much like a multi-story maze. I find the place exciting in its expanse. I next find myself leaving the building through an outdoor walkway which leads to a little cabin surrounded by plants, trees, and grass. There are 5 or 6 other people here, all of whom I consider friends. Suddenly, I'm aware I need to fetch something from the basement of the giant building. Problem is, I need a key. Everyone has a key, except I lost mine. There's an extra key in the cabin, but I'm told it's possessed and I shouldn't use it. However, whatever it is I need from the basement is tremendously important, so I decide to grab the key and go. I venture back to the building and make my way up and down many escalators, finally finding the basement. I don't remember anything about the basement, only that I find what I'm looking for. I'm excited as I make my way back to the cabin. However, once I reach it, my vision becomes entirely blue. Yellow words flash up on what looks like a blue screen, though I don't know what the writing says. This blue screen disappears quickly, and what's left is a purplish-grey screen with a black orb in the bottom right corner. I understand the orb to be an eye, which watches me intently. I wake up with my heart racing.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to this Jungian life. |
| 0:03.0 | Three good friends and Jungian analysts, Lisa Marciano, Deborah Stewart and Joseph Lee, |
| 0:09.0 | invite you to join them for an intimate and honest conversation that brings a psychological perspective to important issues of the day. |
| 0:17.0 | I'm Lisa Marciano and I'm a youngian analyst in Philadelphia. |
| 0:22.0 | I'm Joseph Lee and I'm a youngian analyst in Philadelphia. I'm Joseph Lee and I'm a youngian analyst in Virginia Beach, Virginia. |
| 0:27.0 | I'm Deborah Stewart, a youngian analyst on Cape Cod. |
| 0:31.0 | So we decided today to talk about chronic lateness which is an issue |
| 0:37.4 | that comes up for a lot of people in their lives. It's also an issue that comes up a lot in therapy with sometimes clients, the same |
| 0:47.4 | clients showing up week after week a little bit late for an appointment and of |
| 0:52.4 | course then it becomes the subject of therapeutic curiosity. |
| 0:57.6 | So there are many things that this phenomenon can mean and we're going to |
| 1:02.9 | circumbulate it today and see what we can decide about it. |
| 1:07.4 | Yeah, I think the chronic lateness is such a universal frustration |
| 1:12.2 | both for people who are chronically late because they've paid a lot of prices around this. |
| 1:17.6 | They're often embarrassed or ashamed. The family members are frustrated with them and they often feel kind of |
| 1:26.7 | trapped in this pattern of behavior and they can't quite get out of it. |
| 1:30.9 | There's a real relational price for being late is what I'm |
| 1:36.6 | building on here both for the person who loses friends and could even lose a job, fail classes. |
| 1:47.0 | And for the people who know that person, I've had a couple of people in my life who are chronically late and I unless it is completely unavoidable |
| 1:57.3 | I do not make plans with them that entail timeliness And that means certain activities are avoided even when we have |
| 2:07.1 | addressed it because there's a relational price to be paid. |
| 2:11.6 | So one of the things that I would like to introduce just as an overarching theme is that people |
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