Hey, buddy.

How you doing? Oh, you know, fucking fantastic. How about you? Oh, man, fucking king of the world. Love being queen of the world. Last week we were only the king and queen of America. This week, the world. Oh, yeah. World domination is going really, really well. I feel like you and I doing world domination would be pretty chill. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Pretty chill. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why aren't more world leaders chill? Hmm. Who are your favorite chill world leaders go? Um, that lady from New Zealand who resigned in disgrace. I forget her name. Just sin to something? Arden maybe. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't remember what her disgrace was. Nudes, I think.

She posted nudes. It did happen.

Can you tell them what your new catchphrase is?

Oh, post nudes or it didn't happen. You know that catchphrase from like 2001.

Actually, it sounds like Jacinta Arden just kind of lost popularity.

Sorry I said she posted nudes.

That's a shitty thing to say.

That was an anti-feminist thing to say.

No, it's a, uh, anyway, we're not going to defend something that didn't actually happen to

Jacinda Arden.

I'm lying with her posting nudes. Yeah, exactly. Jeez, obviously. Free the nip. This is my other catchphrase that I'm bringing back. Free the nip? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I don't know about that one. I feel like that's a little aggressive for you. See, this is what happens when you get power in world domination. Exactly. You start demanding nips. No, just saying, hey, throw your nipples out there if you want to. If you want to. Yeah, put a fried egg on it if you want to. Just a fried egg on it. Why? Why? I feel like this has been the worst cold intro we've ever done.

That can't be true.

Yeah, you're right.

We've been doing this since 1973.

Just have to think of all the things I have to apologize for.

I'm going to do my apology world tour next week.

If you're waiting for an apology from me, you're going to get it next week.

So, but instead, in lieu of that, this week, we're bringing you a Stephen Kang story.

Yeah, 1980 story. Through the mind hole of Osgood Perkins.

Had you ever read this story? I must have. Yeah. I feel like I must have. I voraciously read Dr. King. The Dr. King and his works of, yeah. Yes. Not that Dr. King, the other one. Right, right. The one from Maine. Not the civil rights leader. Yeah, it's not the actual doctor.

Yeah, that's not great. I said it and I was like, no, that's a real, that's a real fucking, that's a real fucking, that's a real man who I respect for much. Oh, Jesus. Should we literally just start this episode over? I have to edit this week. No way, dude. All right. No edits. You guys are getting it wrong. Apology World Tour. Here we come.

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