Episode 534: The Comeback S3 Ep1 - "Valerie Gets a New Chapter"

Alright Mary: All Things RuPaul's Drag Race

Colin Drucker & Johnny Also

4.6 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 26 March 2026

⏱️ 78 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

The name on everybody’s lips is gonna be…Valerie! After a disastrous attempt at Chicago in New York, diligent picketing with Fran Drescher during the writers strike and setting into condo life with her finance dude Marky Mark, Val has a chance to get back on network television, just as soon as ChatGPT is done writing the script. Along the way she loses Jane, keeps Patience, consoles Billy, reminisces with Tommy and of course cherishes her time on the pod before she attempts to make one more comeback.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Yeah, have a rod in my back, but you know.
0:05.0	All right, Mary.
0:18.0	This is hell, okay?
0:20.0	This is hell. Can you hear me, Mark? I can't. And Mark, it's nothing like the movie. Now, I'm wondering, maybe I should have seen the show before I said yes. The music never stopped. Song after song, it's relentless. You'd go nuts. Well, musicals aren't our thing. No. Maybe I shouldn't come. No, don't come. Yeah, I thought it would be fun. It's not fun. It's hard. And boy, they have an issue with every single thing I do. Fowl, why don't you just quit? You didn't even want to do this in the first place. There's nothing else to do. Mark, the writers are on strike. I get to be in a Broadway show, you know. Can't quit. I have a contract. I really can't quit, you know. How am I quitting me? It's really hard. No, no. And all those fans coming to see me for July 4th holiday. Oh, we did you hear this. Yeah. So, Greg and I are in the break room and we're remembering, you know, stupid jokes that you're not allowed to tell anymore. So I told the one about what's the... So it's not allergies. Sorry. Are you listening? That's all right. No, sorry. We've got to go.
1:28.3	We've got COVID here.
1:29.3	What do you care?
1:30.3	You had it a month ago.
1:31.3	You're immune.
1:32.3	Yeah.
1:33.3	I feel like this scene could have been like the very first scene of the episode and would have probably told us everything. And I feel like tells us so much
1:46.8	about Mark and Valerie in 2023. Absolutely. Absolutely. The dialogue here I thought was so
1:55.6	revealing and I learned so much. Not to mention, honestly, I listen, I don't know if I'll believe this next week,
2:03.4	but this is the only mention of Mickey I actually needed was the picture in the mirror.
2:10.7	Yeah, there's also that, the fact that like then there's Mickey's picture.
2:14.3	And what it looks like is then next to it is maybe a picture of Val and
2:17.6	Mickey from their heyday.
2:19.2	Oh, I thought it was Lucille Ball.
2:22.1	Oh, was it, you know, I think I need thick of glasses.
2:25.0	I thought I was, I was like, oh, I see a little Mickey and a little Val in 1990 getting
2:31.4	ready for the cable ace awards.
2:33.5	No.
2:34.3	But it's probably Lucille Ball.
	...

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