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Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler

Episode 501: Tonya Baker Miller, Healing From Church Trauma, Strong LDS Families

Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler

Richard Ostler

Religion & Spirituality

4.8839 Ratings

🗓️ 4 February 2022

⏱️ 73 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

My friend Tonya Baker Miller (Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Active LDS, Married Mother of 4) joins us to share insights and principles to heal (and help others) who have experienced church/leader pain/trauma. She explores the possibility that what we often refer to as "faith crisis" could more accurately be framed as "trust crises", and talks about academic differences between faith and trust. She also has helpful insights on how the family can be a safe and healing place when trust in the Church is damaged. And how to keep the family full of hope, support and understanding even if some members of the family are not participating in the Church. Tonya’s story of the being the mother of a gay son is on the Church’s web site. There is a video about the family, and essays written by Tonya, her son Andy, and their bishop at the time. The video and essays were included in the original "Mormon and Gay" website that was released in 2016 and can be found at: www.churchofjesuschrist.org/topics/gay/videos/tonyas-story www.churchofjesuschrist.org/topics/gay/videos/andys-story www.churchofjesuschrist.org/topics/gay/videos/robins-story Andy was also interviewed on this podcast last year; his episode is #382. I encourage everyone to listen to this podcast. So full of insights, stories and scripture to help bring us together and improve the culture and discussion in our congregations. Thank you Tonya for being on the podcast and your great work! ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below ** https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143 ** Please check out my new book about improving LDS culture: deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-love or amazon.com/dp/1462139566**

Transcript

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0:00.0

Welcome listeners to another episode of Listen, Learn, and Love hosted by Richard Osler.

0:10.0

In my home on a Sunday afternoon and cold January day recording this podcast in person is my friend Tanya.

0:17.8

Baker Miller, welcome to the podcast, Tanya.

0:20.4

Thank you, Richard.

0:22.3

I'm going to give you a little bit of introduction about Tanya,

0:25.3

and then I'll turn it over to Tanya to see if I got most of that right.

0:30.3

Tanya is a clinical social worker,

0:35.1

and she got her undergraduate from BYU and a master's in social work from the

0:39.9

University of Utah. And she is a married mother of four children. Her husband's here with us

0:46.1

today. And her son, Andy, the oldest of their four children, was on episode 382. You could check that out. And he's a gay

0:56.0

Latter-day Saint. And Tanya's going to talk about families that have what may be called a

1:03.6

crisis of faith and are working to keep the family circle together, but wanting to continue to participate with the

1:12.4

church, but may have questions about how to make that work. And from her clinical perspective,

1:18.3

from our first-hand experience as a mother, and as a parent, she has some really wonderful

1:23.2

insight. So this podcast, if you're in a crisis of faith, if you're a parent working to keep

1:28.5

your family circled together and trust and confidence and vulnerability and communication,

1:34.0

this podcast will be helpful for if you want to continue to stay involved with the church

1:39.4

and they're looking for tools and principles that help you navigate that path forward. I think

1:43.9

Tonya will have some insights for you. If you have you navigate that path forward. I think Tanya will have some

1:45.6

insights for you. If you have family members that have left the church, I think she'll have

1:50.6

principles and insights that help keep the family circled together, even when the reality of that

1:56.4

becomes part of your family. Also, Tanya, and her son, Andy, and maybe the whole family, were on one of the

...

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