Hello and welcome back to the Self-Healer Soundboard.

Today's episode we're going to talk about people pleasing.

A habit I know both Jenna and I carried with us from childhood well into our adulthood.

While people pleasing has certainly played a role in both mine and Nicole's journey, we

both arrived at that coping mechanism which is people pleasing from very different environments.

I really love Jenna that you're calling people pleasing a coping mechanism because that's

what it is.

This episode was inspired after this week so for those of you who follow on Instagram

the Holistic Psychologist, you probably saw a series on nervous system responses or trauma

responses, one of which is called the Fawn Response.

And it's actually a protective mode that we shift into based on our earliest environments.

When they were unsafe, when they were unpredictable, many of us benefited when we became hyper-vigilant

or when we became so attuned to what was happening around us that it actually had a protective

function for us to keep us safe in some way.

Right, so as children, if you're in an environment that is unsafe or unpredictable, you begin

to dismiss your own needs and really start to hyper-focus on the needs of those around

you or to become hyper-vigilant.

I know for me personally in my childhood, this was very much the case.

For a large part of childhood environments were unsafe, they were very unpredictable.

And I became very, very hyper aware of movements, of noises, of someone else's needs, of someone

else's temperament, kind of walking on eggshells around what I could say or what I could do

to please someone else or to meet someone else's needs out of fear of an eruption or an explosion.

...