Episode 5: How to “Let Go” During Sex

Pillow Talks

Vanessa & Xander Marin

Health & Fitness, Sexuality

4.8 • 2.2K Ratings

🗓️ 24 June 2021

⏱️ 48 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

What’s keeping you from letting go in the bedroom?

People we polled said that body image, kids, and to-do lists all contributed to having a difficult time staying present during sex.

People tend to feel that “letting go” is the main thing that could make sex better and more pleasurable. But for many of us, just letting go is a lot harder than it sounds!

In this episode, we talk about what “letting go” during sex could look like, and whether that’s actually something we should be striving for in the bedroom.

For full show notes, head over to www.vmtherapy.com/episode5

Transcript

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0:00.0	You know, one of the challenges with this whole notion of letting go during sex is that
0:04.2	it makes us think that the only thing that we need to do to have great sex is simply to let go.
0:10.2	But the problem is, of course, that most of us, at least 80% on Instagram, most of us can't do that.
0:17.0	Hello and welcome to the Pillow Talks podcast. Where are your hosts, Vanessa?
0:30.4	And Sandra Marin. I'm a sex therapist with 20 years of experience.
0:34.6	And I'm just a regular dude. We share the ups and downs in our relationship while giving you
0:40.0	step-by-step techniques for improving yours. So make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date
0:45.5	full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories
0:51.2	of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish
0:58.0	you'd have. We've all heard the advice to just let go and enjoy sex. Oh yes, let go and just
1:13.4	be in the moment. Let go and stop thinking about your to-do list. Let go and stop being a control
1:19.5	freak. Let go and be uninhibited. Let go and just have an orgasm. Yeah, sex should be all about losing
1:26.9	yourself in the moment. It should be so intense that you just let go of control and you experience
1:31.8	this sense of wild abandonment. But is that actually happening? Probably not.
1:38.4	So we pulled our Instagram audience and asked if they have a hard time letting go during sex
1:44.5	and a whopping 80% of people said that they just cannot let go during sex. Why am I not surprised?
1:52.0	I know, right? So they gave a ton of different reasons why they struggled to let go during sex.
1:58.0	Okay. By far in a way, number one was body image. That sounds fair. That sounds fair. So people
2:05.2	also really worry about doing sex right. I put the right in quotes because I think that's a
2:11.2	subjective thing. One person said, wondering if I'm doing things right versus asking myself if I
2:18.0	actually like it. Another person said, I'm constantly assessing everything hand placement. Am I
2:24.2	making enough noise? That sounds exhausting. It does. And that'll be our next podcast episode is
	...

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