Episode 4: Mental Load: What It Is and How to Stop It from Destroying Your Relationship

Pillow Talks

Vanessa & Xander Marin

Health & Fitness, Sexuality

4.8 • 2.2K Ratings

🗓️ 17 June 2021

⏱️ 65 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Do you secretly keep score of who does what in your relationship?

Do you feel like your partner gets to be carefree and happy while you’re stressed out trying to hold it all together?

In today's episode, we talk about one of the most popular topics we’ve ever talked about: mental load.

If you’ve never heard the term before, mental load refers to the invisible mental burden of keeping track of household and family needs.

Seriously, people go bananas whenever we talk about mental load, so this is an episode you don’t want to miss!

Get full show notes and resources mentioned in this episode here: www.vmtherapy.com/episode4

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Transcript

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0:00.0	We are all human. We make a lot of mistakes. We are not perfect.
0:05.4	And so we have to give our partners that same grace that we would want them to give to us.
0:16.8	Hello and welcome to the Pillow Talks podcast.
0:20.8	We're your host Vanessa and Sandra Marin.
0:23.8	I'm a sex therapist with 20 years of experience and I'm just a regular dude.
0:28.9	We share the ups and downs in our relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours.
0:34.9	So make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips,
0:39.7	practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind
0:45.1	closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you'd have.
0:50.8	Today we are talking about I think one of the most popular topics that we have ever talked about.
1:02.0	Yeah definitely. Other than how to clean up after sex that also was a surprisingly popular topic.
1:08.4	Unexpectedly popular. So today we are talking about mental load. Yeah we did a few posts about
1:16.4	mental load on Instagram and people went bonkers. I think so many people don't even know the
1:22.5	phrase mental load and when they finally heard it described it like just set off light bulbs
1:27.2	and people's heads. Oh my god I didn't realize this was a thing. Yeah it feels very validating once
1:33.6	you understand what it is. If you are someone that you will find out carries a load of mental load.
1:38.9	Yeah so we will get into a much bigger definition of what mental load is and how it comes up in
1:43.6	relationships but the basic idea is that mental load is the mental energy that it takes to keep
1:49.5	track of all of the many moving parts of life and mental load is something that you know it feels
1:56.5	bad to just carry it on your own but it can have a huge impact on your relationship making it feel
2:01.5	like you and your partner are opponents rather than teammates. Always contributing to this
2:06.1	sense of like things aren't being fair. We're keeping track, keeping score of who's doing what?
	...

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