I think dating app culture has given everyone unrealistic standards.

And I also think, and we know this to be true about dating apps as well, what users actively

filter for on dating apps is often not what they're attracted to.

You know, when they program these algorithms and I spoke to people at Match Group years

ago about this, like what people express as their preferences are often out of line with the

people that they end up swiping line with the people that they end up

swiping on or the people that they end up finding a successful relationship with.

They're often people end up like, and you hear this in stories all the time, where they're like,

I would have never given this person a chance if I saw them on a dating app.

It's funny because I'm old enough to remember when people were using OKCupid.

And I loved OKCupid because it gave you an opportunity to say so much more about yourself

than your height and your weight.

Well, not your weight's not on there, but your height and your race and your vaccination status.

Right.

And you were invited to write paragraphs about yourself and write, put a dozen songs that you were listening to in like a little playlist category.

And to editorialize about yourself at length in a way that could convey a sense of your own authorial voice.

And you could also search in the app instead of just waiting for the

algorithm to put someone in front of you, you could put in the criteria that you wanted and go

looking for him sort of affirmatively. And then because there were also these sort of like compatibility

questions you could answer and you can answer hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of them,

the more you answered, the more accurate the match would be, but you would see someone else.

And if it said, you know, you're a 95% match.

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