Welcome to just break up the podcast about love, heartbreak, and all the

relationship advice you don't want to hear. My name is Sierra de Mulder.

And I'm Sam Blackwell. And today we're going to answer a letter from somebody

who is anxious

about her partner having crushes. But before we begin we just want to give you

our Surgeon General's warning which is that Sierra and I are not licensed

mental health practitioners. I've read only one book about anxious attachment styles and I have made an entire career off of it.

Yep. So please take our advice as you see fit. We are not professionals. We're not

trained in any of this. We are only here to offer our humble musings to hopefully shed

some understanding and maybe some laughs about the incredibly rewarding but mostly confusing experience that is love.

All right, let's get right into today's letter.

Today's letter comes from Ella, who's

pronounced are she, her, who's writing from 100 Anxiety Avenue. Hey Sam and Sierra,

if you get a chance to read this, I want to say that I'm so grateful for your thoughtfulness and authenticity.

Thank you for your compassion and care for all of us through this podcast.

I'm a queer cis woman currently in a new monogamous relationship with another

lovely woman let's call her iris I tends to veer on the anxious side of

attachment and iris is more secure but has some avoidant tendencies. We've been together for about seven months and

our first date was 12 months ago. There is so much that I love about our

connection. We have so much fun together and our relationship has

depth and care and support. I think she's incredibly intriguing and I'm excited to

see how our relationship develops over time. Over the past seven months, I've had waves of anxiety about different parts of our relationship.

...