Episode 41: Negotiate Your Divorce Like You M.A.T.T.E.R. with Rebecca Zung
The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast
Kate Anthony
4.4 • 575 Ratings
🗓️ 9 September 2019
⏱️ 43 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This week Rebecca Zung, one of the top 1% divorce attorneys in the nation, joins me to talk all about the subtleties of negotiating a divorce. I first met Rebecca, in-person, when recording an interview for Laura Wasser's podcast, Divorce Sucks. It's always such a welcomed opportunity whenever I get to meet guests I have on this podcast, in real life.
Ah, divorce negotiations. They can truly suck. How can you get through negotiations with your emotions in check? And also let go of overwhelming thoughts like, "They always get what they want," or "I'll never be able to 'fight' them for the house (or car or fill in the blank)."
Today, Rebecca walks us through some of the strategies she uses with her own clients to help them successfully negotiate divorce, like negotiating with a narcissist, creating leverage, and using empowering body language. When you can successfully negotiate divorce, you set yourself up for what you want in your divorce, for your children and for your life thereafter. It's time to stop thinking you have no power at the negotiation table. You, and you alone, define your value. It all starts with you.
Show Highlights
- What to do when you feel your spouse and his lawyers are more powerful (7:01)
- Negotiating divorce starts with you, from the inside out (8:13)
- The divorce paradox: during the most traumatic part of your life, you have to make the toughest decisions (13:00)
- Dealing with the vulnerability of negotiations whereby you put a 'value' on how much you mattered to your spouse based on what you 'get' or don't (15:00)
- Narcissistic personalities and how to navigate negotiations with them (17:00)
- Noone ever wins from being spiteful or pushing the buttons of your ex during the divorce process (19:00)
- Creating leverage in order to aid in you getting what you want (21:00)
- Passive and disempowering words and phrases, what they are and why you should not use them (24:00)
- Body language: powerful body language you can use and how to read body language to see if someone might be lying (25:00)
- Embedded commands, what they are and how you can use them in negotiations (27:48)
- Preparing for the negotiation process using Rebecca's acronym M.A.T.T.E.R. (32:00)
- The different ways men and women keep their emotions in check (34:00)
Learn More Rebecca Zung:
Rebecca Zung is one of the Top 1% of divorce attorneys in the nation, having been recognized by U.S. News & World Report as a "Best Lawyer in America", as "Legal Elite" by Trend Magazine, and recognized by her peers and the judiciary as AV©, preeminent rated in family law, the highest possible rating for an attorney by Martindale Hubbell. She is the author of the bestselling book Breaking Free: A Step-by-Step Divorce Guide for Achieving Emotional, Physical, and Spiritual Freedom, and is a sought after major media contributor. Her perspectives are in high demand by television and print outlets, as she has been featured in or on Extra TV, Forbes, Huffington Post, Newsweek, Time, Dr. Drew, NPR Talk Radio, Good Day New York and CBS Los Angeles among others. Now, based in Los Angeles, she is continuing to serve the divorcing population through her keynote speeches on negotiation called "Have It Your Way: Successfully Negotiate What You Want in Life and Business".
Links:
Grab your Free Negotiation worksheet, courtesy of Rebecca
Rebecca's podcast
Rebecca on Facebook
Rebecca on Instagram
Rebecca's YouTube Channel
Rebecca on LinkedIn
Fred Rogers Addresses the Senate
"Should I Stay or Should I Go? with Divorce Coach and Podcast Host, Kate Anthony" on Breaking Free: A Modern Divorce Podcast #156
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to another episode of the Divorce Survival Guide podcast, where we have real, honest, smart, |
| 0:11.6 | and sometimes even hilarious conversations about co-parenting, separation, and divorce, and all that goes along with that. |
| 0:18.9 | I'm Kate Anthony, your Divorce Survival Guide, certified life and relationship coach, |
| 0:23.7 | and happily divorced mom, who helps women decide if they should stay in or leave their marriages |
| 0:28.0 | and then guides them through the process one step at a time. |
| 0:34.1 | Hey, everyone, welcome back. |
| 0:44.7 | I hope you've gotten your kids back in school and your routines are starting to get back in order. |
| 0:53.7 | I know for me, I feel like September is the real new year, right? Like this is the time that I start to make all sorts of resolutions like, oh, I can get back |
| 0:55.2 | into a regular exercise routine. I can try to commit to meal planning or to being more regular |
| 1:01.5 | about a morning routine, whatever, right? All the things that totally got away from me during the |
| 1:06.3 | summer, I can sort of try to return to. Once school starts, I can kind of get back to myself, really, |
| 1:14.0 | once we get back into those regular routines. So I also feel like this is the time that many |
| 1:19.4 | women think, okay, now is the time to really figure out this, should I stay or should I go shit? |
| 1:24.8 | Right. So if that's you, you're not alone. Summer's over, family vacations |
| 1:30.2 | you committed to are over. And maybe the summer was like the last straw, right? The last time you |
| 1:36.6 | wanted to be on vacation, feeling like shit with a spouse you felt disconnected from, or the toxicity |
| 1:42.2 | was more than you could bear. Whatever the situation, trust me, |
| 1:46.7 | if this is what you're feeling right now, you are so not alone. The women in my Facebook group |
| 1:52.4 | are having all of the same feelings. And the ones who are doing my program are getting so much |
| 1:58.5 | clarity. And it is so exciting to watch these women burst open, |
| 2:03.7 | like gorgeous lotuses. So if you want to join my Facebook group, which is for women only, |
| 2:09.7 | the link is in the show notes. If you want to join my program, that link is there too. This program |
... |
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