Episode 404 - The Dr. Cloud Show - The Problem with Personality Tests

The Boundaries.me Podcast

Greg Bowler

Religion & Spirituality, Henrycloud, Gaslighting, Productivity, Mentalhealth, Boundaries, Faith, Leadership, Drhenrycloud, Christiancounseling, Psychology, Health & Fitness, Mental Health, Counseling, Christianity, Narcissism, Relationships, Drcloud

4.7 • 815 Ratings

🗓️ 10 April 2024

⏱️ 68 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

By and large, personality type tests are very helpful as an initial assessment tool. But Dr. Henry Cloud wants you to get a better understanding of what they are actually useful for and where they fall short. One of the great things about them is that they allow us to see that a person’s behavior might not be coming from some malicious place, but from a propensity based on their personality. That's a huge step forward in building healthy relationships! Here’s the problem: a lot of people will take these tests and see themselves and others in a fixed way. While the personality tests can show the result of certain traits, they don’t explain the “why” of it. Dr. Cloud walks us through the polarity of personality tests and how to use these types of tests in a more holistic way.

Written question:

My partner insists we stay up all night if we fight, saying we shouldn't go to bed mad. But this makes everything worse! Am I wrong for needing space?

Jessica has an estranged relationship with her mom and needs advice. Can she follow the Bible and honor her mother while also not communicating with her?

Maria is dealing with a triangulation problem. She’s separated from her husband and he is using her mother to persuade her. How can she stop this from happening?

Jenny’s mother has a drinking problem. She is constantly drinking wine and now she’s falling often. How can she encourage her to get help when her mother gets angry whenever the subject is brought up?

Being estranged from someone you once were close to can be a painful reality to live in. Should you reconcile? When? How? How can we fix the pain of estrangement? Does it get easier? What is my role in this process? What is mine to own? What should I do?

Dr. Cloud wants to help you navigate this terrain. Go to https://boundaries.me/reconcile to find out more about the 2 hour live webinar with Dr. Cloud.

If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice.

https://youtube.com/drhenrycloud

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Welcome back to the Dr. Cloud Show, and it's good to have you again.
0:11.8	This is the show where you can call in and be a part of it.
0:14.7	And I always like that because I love talking to our callers.
0:17.5	Before I hop into a few thoughts of the day, I did want to give you a reminder. We have a
0:23.7	live webinar coming up. Now, you can't just log in. You've got to sign up for it. Very easy
0:29.1	to sign up for it, by the way. You just go to the website. I'll give you in a second. After,
0:34.7	I'll tell you what it's about. It's going to be about reconciliation and estrangement. So if you've got a relationship that's estranged, you know,
0:43.4	it might be in your family, it might be with a friend, it might be with an ex. It might be with
0:48.6	your spouse. You know, people get separated and then they're not talking. It might be somebody you're dating and you get ghosted or there's a conflict or your brother or sister or coworker.
1:01.1	Who knows?
1:02.1	Relationships can get estranged.
1:04.4	And the good news is there is a pretty known path to come back.
1:11.6	It doesn't mean everybody is going to come back.
1:14.9	And it doesn't mean that you even should come back in all situations.
1:19.6	So we're going to be talking about all of that, how to know when you should mend it and when you shouldn't, how to do it if you decide to, the wrong ways to do it, that make it worse,
1:29.0	all sorts of stuff like that.
1:30.4	It's coming up on April the 16th at 4 p.m. Pacific time.
1:37.1	That's 6 p.m. Central time.
1:39.8	And here's how you sign up.
1:41.9	Go to Boundaries.Me.
1:47.0	Forward slash reconcile.
1:52.8	Boundaries.me forward slash reconcile to get signed up for that.
	...

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