Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO late-night series Real Time with Bill Maugh.

Thank you very much. Well, I know why you're happy tonight. The conventions are over.

And thank you very much. And history was made, right? One of our major parties nominated a woman and the other nominated a pussy.

So, you know, it's going to be an interesting election. Did you see Hillary speech? I thought she was pretty good last night.

I got to say she laid out the choice for America. Do you want a woman who excels when the stakes are high or a guy who sells stakes and sounds like he's hot?

But now, by all measures, the convention is very successful for the Democrats. I mean, their motto seemed to be no constituency left behind. Which is good. You know, they checked off every one of the identity boxes, Latinos, Blacks, Gays, Muslim, Asian, Dwarfs.

Transgender disabled. It was finally left up to Joe Biden to come out there and go, good evening, I'm a white guy with a dick.

Dickers white guy is a ploy. I like that. Yeah, I'm a dick too. No, I thought the guy who stole the show was the Muslim dad, who's son was killed in Iraq.

And he went up the boy did he read Trump, the riot act. He said, Donald Trump, you have never sacrificed anything or anyone. And then he took out a copy of the Constitution. Right? And he said, I will gladly lend you mine.

And...

Woo!

And every Brank in America said, bad idea.

Oh, it was a brutal night for Donald Trump. Hillary's attacks were pretty dim, Devis said. I mean, usually to own a Republican like that, you have to be a Coke brother.

Oh.

I thought her best line was what she said about Donald Trump. A man who can you bait with a tweet is not a man we can trust with nuclear weapons.

And then Trump responded with a tweet.

I...

This guy is just to ease. And not just a tweet, he tried to get all the other girls not to sit with Hillary at lunch.

His tweet was, cricket Hillary made up facts about me and making up facts about Donald Trump is Donald Trump's job.

Now...

There was one little awkward moment at the convention last night. The cameras caught Bill Clinton nodding off during Hillary. Just for a second, but you know, what could he have been thinking? Was it all a dream?

No, Katy Perry's tits really are that big.

...