Episode 394 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Initial Choice Doesn’t Equal Change
The Boundaries.me Podcast
Greg Bowler
4.7 • 815 Ratings
🗓️ 9 February 2024
⏱️ 52 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
One thing most of us do with the word “choice” is that we equate it with the power to make something happen. Dr. Henry Cloud wants you to rethink what choice is actually capable of bringing to your life. Choice is great, it’s important, but it’s not a methodology. That’s to say that willpower and choice are not a method of change alone. Your initial choice can set your direction, and that’s a hugely powerful start, but that does not lead to staying power. When you’re setting a goal, definitely use choice to get started, but remember that you will continue to employ choices at every step to get to your goal. One choice is never enough to make anything meaningful happen. You need to continue making choices along the way to make real changes.
Dr. Cloud takes a write-in question:
I think of myself as an emotionally intelligent person, but recently I got some feedback that has me wondering. A friend of mine reached out looking for support and I did what I hear a lot of men do and tried to give her some advice. She wasn't looking for advice. She told me in a kind way that my response lacked emotional intelligence. I understand now that what I did wasn't helpful. But that leaves me wondering: How do I assess my own emotional intelligence?
Sarah is having difficulty accepting her adult daughter’s decisions. How can learn to let her daughter make her own mistakes?
Kathy is having serious issues with her daughter and granddaughter who both live with her. They don’t talk to her, and when they do it’s rude and mean. What can she do to open up civil communication again?
Being estranged from someone you once were close to can be a painful reality to live in. Should you reconcile? When? How? How can we fix the pain of estrangement? Does it get easier? What is my role in this process? What is mine to own? What should I do?
Dr. Cloud wants to help you navigate this terrain. Go to https://boundaries.me/reconcile to find out more about the 2 hour live webinar with Dr. Cloud.
If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice.
https://youtube.com/drhenrycloud
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey guys, welcome back. |
| 0:09.0 | This is the Dr. Cloud show where we talk about all things life. |
| 0:13.0 | Today I want to talk about choice. |
| 0:16.0 | Choice. |
| 0:18.0 | Now, this is one of the most important words in your life, whether you think about it or not. |
| 0:26.0 | If you're not thinking about it, well, that's the choice. Think about all the choices you're |
| 0:32.5 | not making while you're not thinking about making choices. You know, you're kind of on autopilot. |
| 0:38.3 | Well, at some level, you're choosing to do that. |
| 0:42.3 | But more to the point, a lot of times, you know, you just hear this thrown out as if it is the way that things are done. |
| 0:55.8 | For example, |
| 0:59.1 | teenager goes out for the evening. |
| 1:01.5 | What does the parents say? |
| 1:02.6 | Make good choices. |
| 1:04.3 | Great idea. |
| 1:05.2 | It should make good choices. |
| 1:07.0 | New Year's rolls around. |
| 1:09.0 | I'm going to make a commitment. |
| 1:10.2 | That's a choice. I'm going to make a commitment. That's a choice. I'm going to make a |
| 1:11.5 | commitment to lose 50 pounds or to begin to grow my business or begin to launch a business or |
| 1:20.0 | improve my marriage or have a better relationship with family, extended family, whatever it is. |
| 1:27.1 | And what we do a lot of times to the word choice and with the word choice is we equate it with the actual result that we're trying to effectuate. |
| 1:45.5 | That's the word, make happen. |
... |
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