Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO late-night series Real Time with Bill Maw.

Thank you. How are you? Good, good, good. Thank you. Wow.

Oh, you're clapping. Oh, right. Thank you very much. Are you clapping or just trying to kill the Zika mosquitoes?

Did you hear about that? That should scary. We don't need a wall on the board. We need a giant bug zapper.

Jesus. They said now Zika could be transferred through oral sex. My apologies to home viewers who may have just stopped.

No, that's kind of scary. Oral sex. Listen to be safe. Either wear a condom or get married.

But hey, how about that campaign? The gloves are off this week between Hillary and Donald Trump. I have not seen bad blood between a blonde lady and a weirdo and clown makeup like this since I double dated with Johnny Depp.

I mean, this is... Oh, poor it. I like Johnny Depp. Poor guy. What a rough month his movie tank, his mom died, his wife left him, and he can't use the men's room in North Carolina. What a terrible month.

But you know who else had a horrible week, Donald Trump, had a horrible month. He had a press conference where he told the press to go fuck themselves through a whole hissy fit.

Now of course to be fair, he had just learned the tragic news that a zookeeper in Cincinnati shot his father.

But now he's two scandals this week, Vettgate about the veteran. You saw that. The Washington Post exposed him, documented proof that Trump promised to donate money to veterans, didn't, and then lied about it.

Well, Donald Trump, he comes out there, he's like running a political campaign is hard enough without a bunch of people fact checking.

You know, not taking any responsibility saying something is everybody else's fault, that doesn't sound very presidential. That to me sounds like a...

Why me little bitch. Why me little bitch.

And then there was Trump you gait, Trump University graduate, where am I, Trump University people? It's a great school, the fighting arrangement, come on, it's a great...

No, you know about that scam is Trump University, a judge ordered documents unsealed, and of course we found out as we knew it's all about praying on desperate people and taking their money, just like a regular university.

No, I mean, you know, you give Trump money to learn the secrets of business, and then of course you have to give more money to learn the really great secrets of business.

Please, it's Scientology without the volcanoes, that's what this is.

And listen, this is who Republicans are lining up to nominate, and they are lining up, what happened to the never Trump movement?

Remember that? Wasn't that long ago? Well, you know, the people who've been trying to find an alternative to save the world from Donald Trump came out with the guy this week.

They have the guy, the third party candidate who's going to do it, it's David French.

And everyone went, who the fuck is David French? Some national review writer, nobody had, this is the best thing they could do.

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