Hey guys, welcome back.

It is the Dr. Cloud show.

Always, what I do in the beginning is talk a little bit about an idea that, and you know,

stuff I've either known for a long time or research recently or felt in my life or working

with people. And this one came up over the holidays in a couple of conversations. And also

is something that I just notice a lot.

And that is when you're feeling lonely in an interaction with a person.

That could be, you know, a close relationship, a sort of mid-level relationship or however.

It could even happen, you know, at the rental car car place which is where i just came from but when we feel lonely when we're with somebody and it's almost an oxymor right because

the cure for loneliness is relationship, period.

And it should help.

But sometimes it doesn't.

And one of the great paradoxes, you know, one of the loneliest places that you can be in in life is in a disconnected relationship.

I mean, talk to some people in their most significant relationships in marriage or dating or, you know, close circle of family or friends or whatever. And they feel

lonely in that relationship. Well, why is that? Well, there's a lot of ways to look at this and a lot of things to do really about it, you know,

and that's a whole long list.

I mean, I've written books on this, right?

But one of the little helpful paradigms that I learned a long time ago,

and it actually came from, there was a rabbi named Martin

Buber who I think came up with this little paradigm and he wrote a very famous book called

I thou I thou meaning me and you but the thou had significant meaning, because thou, the way he used it,

is different than it. See, a thou is a person, and an it is an object, just an inanimate object.

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