Imagine what it would be like to create healthy relationships without sacrificing ourselves as women. That is exactly what Michelle Farris helps women do. Michelle is a psychotherapist and codependency expert, and this conversation goes deep fast. She brings both the clinical knowledge and the lived experience of someone who has done her own recovery work, and honestly, we could not have been more in sync.

Codependency is one of those words that gets thrown around a lot, and yet so many women are still walking around not fully recognizing themselves in it. At its core, it is what happens when someone hyperfocuses on helping, fixing, and controlling others in hopes of getting the love and validation that cannot be given to themselves. So externally focused that the magnifying glass never turns into the mirror. And if the focus is always on someone else, there is no reason to look inward.

This conversation gets into what codependency actually is, why naming it is not a disservice but a necessity, and what it really takes to start building a relationship with yourself when the focus has been on everyone else for as long as anyone can remember. 

Codependency recovery is not about fixing anyone else. It is about finally turning the focus inward. Knowing something is wrong is just the beginning. Finding yourself again is the work.

What you'll hear about in this episode:

• What codependency actually is and why helping, fixing, and controlling are not the same as loving (2:10)

• Why getting targeted support for codependency and divorce separately actually matters (8:06)

• Labeling codependency as a "disservice to women": Michelle explains why the problem has to be named before healing can begin (9:45)

• How Michelle works with women who in codependency recovery and what that process looks like (23:55)

• How codependency directly impacts divorce outcomes and the ability to advocate for yourself (30:51)

• Why wrapping yourself in the identity of mother can become its own way of avoiding recovery and what it does to your kids (32:23)

• Boundaries, what they actually are, why they feel impossible at first, and how to start small (37:51)

Learn more about Michelle Farris:

Michelle Farris is a psychotherapist, codependency expert, and anger management specialist with a passion for helping people break free from toxic relationship patterns. She's been featured in top online publications and podcasts and has reached over 3 million viewers on her YouTube channel, where she's known for giving relationship skills that work. Michelle empowers her clients to stop people-pleasing, trust themselves again, and build healthy, connected relationships through practical tools for codependency recovery, emotional regulation, and self-trust.

Resources & Links:

Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate
The Divorce Survival Guide Resource Bundle
Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective
Kate on Instagram
Kate on Facebook
Kate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch
The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube!
Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce 

Michelle's website
Michelle on YouTube
Michelle on Facebook
Michelle on Instagram
Michelle on LinkedIn

Pia Mellody Codependency Tree 

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DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

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Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-363-codependency-in-women-signs-patterns-and-how-to-break-free-with-michelle-farris