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The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast

Episode 35: He Did You a Favor with Debra Rogers

The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast

Kate Anthony

Education, Relationships, Self-improvement, Society & Culture

4.4575 Ratings

🗓️ 10 June 2019

⏱️ 53 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

This week I welcome Debra Rogers to the podcast. Debra is a writer, blogger, break-up coach and speaker. She is the author of, He Did You A Favor. And she is also one of my real-life friends!  Fun-fact about today's episode, this is the first face-to-face interview I've done. And it was so.much.fun!  

In this episode, Debra and I talk about divorce (obviously), more specifically how she handled the break-up of what she refers to as a " fairy-tale marriage." Plus, she shares openly about her 5-year journey to self-discovery following her divorce. Finally, she teaches how to overcome rough break-ups and grow into the person you were meant to be.

Show Highlights

  • The knowledge that your spouse can be doing the best they can and it still not be good enough for you. You can move on from it (7:22)
  • How Debra dealt with the break-up of her fairy-tale marriage and being in denial (11:32)
  • Debra talks about her book, He Did You A Favor, and what the title really means (14:15)
  • The anagram GIFT and how it can help, plus knowing that there is a choice—you can either stay in victimhood or choose to redirect and look for the favor or the gift (17:45)
  • Debra's interesting and eye-opening journey of hiring (and firing) a divorce attorney (21:14)
  • How to become a good friend with your ex: yes, it is possible, but you have to be ready (31:23)
  • Getting triggered, ongoing therapy, and the act of healing (42:27)
  • Holding your intention for having a healthy co-parenting relationship (47:05)

Learn More About Debra:

With years of dating and break up experience, including one crushing break up at eight months pregnant (which evolved into a supportive divorce and loving friendship), Debra has earned her relationship MBA.

As "The Ex Expert™" she's passionate about helping others get over their ex, take back their life, and become the person they're meant to be.

Debra offers her relationship expertise as a regular blogger on the Huffington Post and Digital Romance. She's also contributed to Gal Time, Relationship Headquarters, and has been recently featured in The Washington Post, Fit Pregnancy and Never Liked It Anyway. She's appeared at the LA Festival of Books, the Women's Journey Conference, and The Ultimate Women's Expo. She's also guested on 25+ radio shows and has helped hundreds of men and women get over their breakup and get past self-doubt. Debra's heartfelt, humorous, tough-love advice has guided others into stepping into their power, passion, and purpose.

Her book, He Did You a Favor has won high praise as well as numerous awards including: The Independent Publisher Award, the Next Generation Indie Award, and the Indie Reader Discovery Award (named as "One of the best books of 2014"). He Did You a Favor has been featured in Shape Magazine as one of their "Top 10 Winter Reads" and in She Knows as "One of the top 7 books to read on Valentine's night."

Before He Did You a Favor, Debra worked the studio circuit for years as a script analyst and Development Associate for both film and television.  Her passion for story was further expanded as a writing consultant for numerous motion picture and television writers through her company Your Best Writing Now. She's been a beloved board member for ScriptWrights, a prestigious LA writer's group and is currently on the Creative Advisory Board at West LA College.  

She's also built a successful voiceover career in 25+ film and television shows including: Disney's Lilo & Stitch and Leroy & Stitch. She's voiced strong, powerful women in Giant Robo, Streetfighter and Xena: Warrior Princess. Through her life experience, she discovered her own inner warrior and found that the strong heroines she'd been voicing were also within her. Debra's now a warrior for others. She's become a catalyst for change in people's lives, both as a writer and as a coach.

Debra currently lives in the Los Angeles area with her amazing daughter and has finally found true love. She is currently writing the follow-up books in her Did You a Favor series.


Links:
Debra's website: https://hedidyouafavor.com
Debra on Social Media:
https://twitter.com/HeDidYouAFavor
https://www.instagram.com/hedidyouafavor/
https://www.facebook.com/HeDidYouAFavor
https://www.pinterest.com/hedidyouafavor/

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Welcome to another episode of the Divorce Survival Guide podcast, where we have real, honest, smart,

0:11.6

and sometimes even hilarious conversations about co-parenting, separation, and divorce, and all that goes along with that.

0:18.9

I'm Kate Anthony, your Divorce Survival Guide, certified life and relationship coach,

0:23.6

and happily divorced mom, who helps women decide if they should stay in or leave their marriages

0:28.0

and then guides them through the process one step at a time.

0:35.1

Hey, everyone, welcome back. I've had a fun week so far. In case you missed it on my Instagram,

0:43.9

I was at a podcast recording studio recording Laura Wassers podcast, Divorce Sucks, which will air in a few

0:51.6

weeks. And if you're on my email list or follow me on social media,

0:55.0

you're going to hear about it when it airs. There I am at this fancy-ass recording studio in Beverly

1:01.1

Hills, because that's Laura's speed, and in walks, Shaq. Now, first of all, I mean, he's fucking

1:09.1

Shaq. And let me tell you, now, you know Shaquille O'Neal is a big

1:13.8

ass dude, but you don't really know how big Shaquille O'Neal is until you are standing

1:20.1

next to him, having a conversation with him, which I did. So he found out I was a divorce coach, and he asked my opinion about something.

1:30.7

And I totally didn't agree with his opinion. So we kind of got into it a bit. And I kind of think

1:38.3

Shaq was a little taken aback at being argued with by a tiny, I mean tiny next to him in context. So it's like being argued with

1:48.2

by this tiny little white girl. But I wasn't backing down because I 100% didn't agree with him.

1:55.5

But he wasn't really open to my coaching. So ultimately we had to agree to disagree. And that's basically the

2:02.9

highlight of my week so far. On with today's episode. Today I have with me on the podcast, Deborah Rogers.

2:10.8

Deborah is a writer, a blogger, a breakup coach, and a speaker. She is the author of the book called He Did You a Favor. And she's also

2:21.2

one of my real life friends. So fun fact about today's episode, this is the first face-to-face

2:26.7

interview I've done. Deborah and I often work together at a co-working space here in L.A.

2:32.3

So we decided to take advantage of their podcasting

...

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