Episode 337: SOLO Episode - How I Learned the Communication Skills That Changed My Life

The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast

Kate Anthony

Relationships, Education, Self-improvement, Society & Culture

4.4 • 573 Ratings

🗓️ 25 September 2025

⏱️ 36 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

If you've ever felt like you "just weren't born a good communicator," I want to stop you right there. Most of us are not born with these skills, instead we learn them, often the hard way. I know, because when someone asked me at my book launch, "Where did you learn to communicate?" I blanked and said I was "just born with it." The truth? Communication is something I studied, practiced, and worked at for years.

In this solo episode, I walk you through the communication tools that changed everything for me. These skills didn't save my marriage, but they did save my divorce. They made co-parenting possible (because he'd learned these skills too), built the foundation for healthier friendships and relationships, and became the backbone of the work I do with my clients.

This isn't about becoming perfect or never messing up, it's about learning how to really listen, how to be heard, and how to create connection instead of disconnection. And yes, it's a practice.

In this episode, I share:

How I learned communication skills the hard way
Why Imago therapy can be a useful communication model, but not a solution for abuse
The power of listening for feelings underneath words, not just the words themselves
How feedback loops, timing, and permission are key to being heard
Why I-statements, mirroring, and empathy create deeper connections in every kind of relationship

✨ If you'd like to watch the video version of this episode, you can find it here.

Resources & Links:

Don't forget to grab the free worksheet to help you get started with active listening, I-statements, and more. Download the Communication Worksheet Mentioned in This Episode at: KateAnthony.com/communicate

The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube!
Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate
The Divorce Survival Guide Resource Bundle
Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective
Kate on Instagram
Kate on Facebook
Kate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch

===================

DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

===================

Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-337-solo-episode-how-i-learned-the-communication-skills-that-changed-my-life/

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	listening to understand, not just respond, listening for the feelings underneath it,
0:06.8	reflecting back what you've heard. Even if you're not doing an Imago dialogue, you can say,
0:12.6	okay, wait, I just want to understand. I just want to make sure that I understand what you're saying.
0:16.7	So pause for a minute. That's feedback, right? Can you pause for a minute? I just want to make
0:20.7	sure that I understand what you're saying right now. What you're saying, So pause for a minute. That's feedback, right? Can you pause for a minute? I just want to make sure
0:21.0	that I understand what you're saying right now. What I'm hearing you say is X, Y, Z. Is that right?
0:30.9	And they'll be like, yeah. Or they'll be like, no, that's not what I'm saying at all. I'm
0:36.2	actually saying ABC. So active listening,
0:40.6	listening to understand. Welcome to the Divorce Survival Guide podcast, where we have open and
0:50.1	honest conversations about co-parenting, separation, divorce, and the hardest question of
0:55.9	all, should you stay or should you go? I'm Kate Anthony, your divorce survival guide, and I'm here
1:03.3	to help you navigate some of the roughest waters you've ever swum in and answer some of your
1:08.3	toughest questions. I've been to hell and back.
1:11.8	And now it's my mission in life to help you get to the other side of this process
1:16.6	with your sanity and your heart intact.
1:25.8	Welcome back.
1:27.6	So if you are watching on YouTube, this is my very first solo episode in which I am recording
1:36.0	video.
1:36.7	So bear with me.
1:39.5	My, you know, 30 years acting career probably didn't prepare me for this exactly. So I'm going to do my best.
1:46.2	And if you're just listening, welcome back as always. If you feel like checking in on the
1:52.5	YouTube's, go ahead and do so because, you know, if you want to see my face, come see my face.
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Kate Anthony, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Kate Anthony and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.