Episode 330: Attachment Styles & Somatic Healing with Laurie James

The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast

Kate Anthony

Relationships, Education, Self-improvement, Society & Culture

4.4 • 573 Ratings

🗓️ 3 July 2025

⏱️ 58 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

I'm joined once again by Laurie James for a conversation that bridges nervous system healing, somatic experiencing, and attachment work. If you've ever felt overwhelmed or disconnected in relationships, this episode will help you understand why and what to do about it.

Laurie isn't just a coach and author, she's someone who's done the deep work to regulate her nervous system after divorce and heartbreak. In this episode, she shares how her body responded completely differently to a recent breakup, not with panic, but with presence. That's what nervous system healing looks like in real time.

We also dig into attachment styles: how to identify your own, how they show up in anxious or avoidant behaviors, and how somatic work can support real change. Most importantly, we talk about how to stop trying to fix or override your system and start building safety within it. This is about meeting yourself where you are and knowing that real healing is possible.

Here's what else we discuss in this episode:

What somatic experiencing actually is and how it supports healing (7:31)
How your autonomic nervous system operates and what shifts when you engage it intentionally (9:42)
The connection between nervous system regulation, somatic work, and attachment styles (16:52)
How Laurie's recent breakup differed from her divorce (and why it matters) (40:44)
Practical strategies for working with an avoidant or anxious attachment style (46:45)

Learn more about Laurie James: Laurie James is a mother, divorcée, recovering caregiver turned author, somatic relationship coach, and podcaster. Laurie's podcast, Confessions of a Freebird, was inspired by her youngest of four children leaving the nest and is the sequel to her book, Sandwiched: A Memoir of Holding On and Letting Go.

Laurie's book is about her journey from loneliness to finding belonging during a time when she was raising four teenage daughters, her mother had a heart attack and needed care, all while her marriage began to crumble.

Now Laurie helps women divorce, heal, and date differently in midlife. She blends her coaching and somatic training to help her clients develop a better relationship with their bodies and nervous system. Doing so allows them to find the inner freedom to experience more happiness, joy and create the life they desire.

Resources & Links:
The Divorce Survival Guide Resource Bundle
Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective
Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate
Laurie's website
Laurie on Instagram
Laurie's podcast
Laurie's Beginner's Guide to Somatic Healing

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DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

Episode link:
https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-330-attachment-styles-amp-somatic-healing-with-laurie-james/

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	You know, so one of the things that I'll do is if I feel like I'm going up too far into my
0:04.9	sympathetic nervous system after working out, I will come home and I'll lay on the couch or lay
0:10.0	on my bed and just tap into what I'm, what are the sensations I'm feeling and let that energy
0:16.2	come down. Let that energy dissipate out of my system. Yes. And it takes two, sometimes I only need two minutes, sometimes I need five minutes, sometimes
0:24.7	I need ten minutes.
0:25.5	But it's that simple of just allowing our bodies that five, ten minutes to come down.
0:36.6	Welcome to the Divorce Survival Guide podcast, where we have open and honest conversations about co-parenting, separation, divorce, and the hardest question of all, should you stay or should you go.
0:50.5	I'm Kate Anthony, your divorce survival guide, and I'm here to help you navigate some of the roughest waters you've ever swum in and answer some of your toughest questions.
1:01.4	I've been to hell and back, and now it's my mission in life to help you get to the other side of this process with your sanity and your heart intact.
1:18.2	Hey everyone, welcome back.
1:21.4	So I have some news before we get into this episode that I wanted to share with all of you. You might
1:31.7	have seen it already on Instagram, but on, I'm recording this introduction on Tuesday. And on
1:43.0	Friday, Ethan proposed to me. And I said yes. Spoiler. I said yes. And I cannot
1:51.3	begin to tell you what an absolutely 100% joyous experience this is for me this time around. And I am so
2:03.9	incredibly happy and I am grateful that I have gotten to and chosen to share the entire
2:13.9	experience with you guys because it has been so affirming to me about the possibilities
2:23.9	of love existing for me in a way that I really, really never thought it would. I used to say,
2:31.2	I think I've told you this. I would say to my best friend, Ray, all the time.
2:37.0	I'd be like, yeah, it's just, I don't think it exists for me, honey.
2:39.7	I just don't think it exists for me.
2:41.3	And he'd be like, you're out of your goddamn mind.
2:43.8	And I'd be like, I don't know, man.
	...

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