Hello, children. I'm Sir Nigel Longstock, official corporate spokesperson for cowboy astronaut cigarettes, the cigarette that gives you a reason to live to age 18.

Kids can't handle the rich taste of cowboy astronauts, but they can handle the truth.

And the truth is that thanks to adult consumption of fossil fuels, most of Earth will

become uninhabitable in your lifetime. That means human beings will have to colonize space,

and that means space will need cowboys. When it's quitting time on the moon, you'll kick off your

boots and enjoy the adult flavors of mankind's terrestrial home,

such as roasted walnut, eucalyptus, and dragonberry, but only after you've turned 18.

Cowboy astronaut cigarettes are not for kids, so you'll have to wait to enjoy our premium

tobacco products. But there's no law that says you can't wear our

shirt in the meantime. Starting today, you can buy cowboy astronaut cigarettes t-shirts direct

from the CME website using your parents' credit card. Designed by CME listeners Johnny Ashcroft

and Landon Armstrong, they're perfect for Little League tryouts,

school carnivals, and custody hearings. Cowboy astronaut cigarettes t-shirts. They're totally

for kids, and they're the next best thing to smoking. You're listening to the co-main event podcast.

And now your host, Ben Folks and Chad Dundas.

That's right.

You're listening to another episode of the co-main event mixed martial arts podcast.

I'm your co-host from bleacherreport.com, Chad Dundes, and joining me, as always, from MMA Junkie and USA Today.

It's your friend and mine, Mr. Ben, folks.

Well, Ben, it's official.

The cowboy astronaut cigarettes shirt drop tomorrow over on Cotton Bureau, Tuesday, November the 13th.

We will be live and ready to rock and roll.

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