Episode 326 - Dick on Near Death Experiences
The Dick Show
Dick Masterson
4.7 • 1.3K Ratings
🗓️ 27 September 2022
⏱️ 129 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
My Uber driver has a psychotic episode and drives into oncoming traffic, Ryan Long in studio, Kurt Metzger in studio, Dame Pesos calls in and drops some new stingers, refusal to wear the hijab, the kids and their non-dance music, an idiot tries to set themselves on fire, and women not trying to lose weight; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | One of them. One of them. Oh my God. I had a near death experience last night. Did you? |
| 0:13.8 | I saw every porn star I've ever beat off to flash before my eyes behind my eyes. Which |
| 0:19.0 | way do they flash? I'm going to die. I thought I'm, this is it. I'm dead. Okay. Like |
| 0:26.6 | the 911 call with the cop when he ate all the weed brownies. This is it. Yeah. Yeah. I thought |
| 0:32.0 | I'm fucking dead. Okay. Jokes on me. Yeah. This is how I'm going out. Shit. Well, at least |
| 0:39.0 | the toxicology report will be interesting. I don't want to, I do not want to die. I've |
| 0:43.7 | never said this. I don't want to die. And I'm like, oh, there was no need to run a toxicology |
| 0:48.4 | report. Yes. Make, well, there's no need to run it. Take it, guys. If I go, no need |
| 0:54.5 | to run a toxicology report because it's pretty obvious that he's toxic. I mean, this one, |
| 1:00.5 | no, no, run it. Either he ate, either he ate 16 powder doughnuts very sloppily. Or there |
| 1:09.6 | was something toxic. Yeah. Yeah. Here's some bad news. Elvis. I got, look, this is all, |
| 1:18.8 | all of this bad news is coming to me very quickly. Yeah. I watched that Elvis movie. We |
| 1:23.4 | just find out that Elvis died at 42. Yes. So I made 80s, 80s girl thought that was hilarious. |
| 1:28.8 | So she counted out to like the days of 42. He was and told me and said that my, the day |
| 1:35.1 | I'm going to die is May, like fifth or something. May 4th of next year, 20 next year. |
| 1:40.9 | It's like a Star Wars day, honey. Come on. You know what? Don't give me. There's a very |
| 1:45.9 | don't let me die. So please, Jesus, don't let me die on Star Wars day because there's |
| 1:50.1 | no, no, there's no one who's more comparable to me than Elvis Presley's what I'm saying. |
| 1:56.2 | Right. So it's likely we're both living as hard. We're both reinventing genres. I don't |
| 2:01.6 | still quite as much from black people's Elvis, but I got time. I still got about eight |
| 2:05.1 | months, eight or nine months. You really start stealing. You can do a lot of. I can't |
| 2:08.0 | breathe either. You can do a lot of pressing in the next eight months. You know, there's |
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