Episode 320: Letting Go of Pressure & Performance with Enneagram 3 Parents, Kelli Haywood & Brandon Verner

Raising Boys & Girls

That Sounds Fun Network

Religion & Spirituality, Kids & Family, Christianity, Parenting

4.9 • 1.9K Ratings

🗓️ 28 October 2025

⏱️ 55 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

We loved this honest, hopeful conversation with two dear friends—Kelli Haywood and Brandon Verner—who both live as Enneagram 3s at home and at work. If you’re a Three (or love one), you’ll hear so much of your own story: the high energy and discipline, the adventurous “let’s go!” spirit, and the quiet temptation to substitute charm and productivity for feelings and presence. Kelli and Brandon name the hard places (kids feeling pressure to perform, our tendency to “manage” outcomes, the pull to keep moving instead of feeling) and offer practical ways forward: stop and pause, slow your voice and body, ask “Are you open to feedback?”, repair with specific apologies, and build family rhythms that prize connection over winning. You’ll hear beautiful stories about advocating for our kids, making memories through shared adventure, and creating homes where children feel deeply safe, fully accepted, and free to be themselves. . . . . . . Sign up to receive the⁠ bi-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share! Connect with David, Sissy, and Melissa at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠raisingboysandgirls.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Owen Learns He Has What it Takes: A Lesson in Resilience⁠ ⁠Lucy Learns to Be Brave: A Lesson in Courage⁠⁠ . . . . . . If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise With Us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form. A special thank you to our sponsors: QUINCE: Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. THRIVE MARKET: Head over to ⁠ThriveMarket.com/rbg⁠ to get 30% off your first order and a FREE $60 gift. NIV APPLICATION BIBLE: Save an additional 10% on any NIV Application Bible and NIV Application Commentary Resources by visiting faithgateway.com/nivab and using promo code RBG. BOLL & BRANCH: Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at Bollandbranch.com/rbg⁠. Exclusions apply. KA’CHAVA: Go to Ka'Chava and use code RBG for 15% off your next order. WAYFAIR: Get organized, refreshed, and ready for the holidays for way less. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. HARBOR: Restore your peace of mind with Harbor: the only baby monitor designed to never fail you. Plus, Harbor has a special deal for our listeners. Use code RBG or go to Harbor.co/RBG for $50 off and experience the security every parent deserves Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Are you all missing getting to know what's going on with June?
0:03.0	She's not allowed on the podcast anymore, and Patches and I are revolting over it.
0:07.0	David doesn't think her behavior is lining up.
0:09.6	So if you're wondering what's going on with June, if you're wondering where we'll be coming up for events,
0:16.2	if you're wondering about the things that we've got coming really soon that we're super excited about,
0:22.3	head over to our website, Raising Boys and Girls.com, and sign up for our newsletter,
0:27.5	where you will be not only the first to know, but first to get offers. We are so grateful for you,
0:32.2	guys. Hey, friends, welcome to the Raising Boys and Girls podcast.
0:45.5	I'm Sissy Goff.
0:46.5	And I'm David Thomas, and we're so glad you've joined us for this conversation.
0:51.3	Let's dive in.
0:57.5	We are so excited for you to hear from two folks. We trust, we love for more than how they
1:06.4	perform, our dear friends, Kelly Haywood and Brandon Farner.
1:13.0	We're excited to talk about threes.
1:13.9	Oh, yes.
1:19.4	We could be like the productivity twins, ones and threes, don't you think?
1:20.1	I think that's true. We're all just getting lots done.
1:23.1	I do have a lot of people who have mistaken me for a one.
1:26.4	I don't know, Dave Barnes' wife, Annie. she's like, are you sure you're not a one? There's so many similarities. I'm sure. Don't, don't you think it's all in that internal voice? Mm-hmm. That you feel like the biggest difference? I feel like the biggest difference. Between the two, yeah.
1:44.8	Present kind of similar, like high achieving and, you know, like,
1:48.8	hardworking, you know, can morph a little bit.
1:52.5	And firstborn, you're a firstborn.
	...

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