Welcome to the bare marriage podcast where we like to discuss evidence-based, healthy, and biblical advice for marriage, sex, and relationships. And this is obviously not Sheila. This is

Rebecca here today because Sheila, as we are recording this, is actually on a speaking tour in

Manitoba. And if you are interested in having Sheila or any of our crew do speaking tours where you

are, just send us an email and let us know.

We'll see what we can do.

So she's been having a fantastic time up in Winnipeg

and all around there with a bunch of patrons

and meeting people at these church events.

And so my dad, Keith, and I are going to be holding down the fort this week

as we record a podcast on drum roll, everybody. And I are going to be holding down the fort this week as we record a podcast on drum roll, ADHD and marriage. Yes. Yes. So. And again, it's, go ahead. No, what were you going to say? I was going to say. And it's going to be evidence-based. Yes. So, and the problem is that some of the evidence is not comfortable for people. Yes. So we're going to warn you ahead of time. Yes. It's going to be some, there's going to be some hard lessons for some people. Yes. So to give context, people who are patrons already know this. But back in January, I was diagnosed with combined type ADHD, and I've been processing

that ever since.

And I processed it quite loudly in the patron group.

And I'm going to actually read you what I wrote for our patrons.

So first of all, though, plug to join the patron group.

Because if you join the patron group, then you get to be part of this sort of like community where you learn more about what's going on behind the scenes. And it's a really great place to be. It's really fun. So it's not very much money. And it really gives us a lot of support. We really appreciate it. Second thing is, is that you read your thing you're going to say. So you read your thing. Okay. Sounds good. Okay. So here's what I wrote. And this is what I wrote will also explain why we're talking about this. Because while this is about my experience, we're not going to be talking about just what I'm doing. Yes. I am not evidence. I am a data point. Correct. I am not data, plural. Yes.

Right? The singular of data is anecdote. So, yeah, so, so here's what I wrote. I got diagnosed

that ADHD combined type this week. I have a lot of personal processing that's going on,

which will keep for myself, obviously, but I will admit there's a massive area that's related to work that I'm just mad about. For years, we have been told that we need to

have, quote, unquote, realistic expectations for neurodivergent spouses, and they always mean

husbands when they say this, when it comes to mental load. Those, quote, unquote, realistic

expectations always end up just meaning fewer expectations,

fewer demands, and having the other spouse just shoulder more than their fair share.

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