Episode 32: Healthy Boundaries for Kind People with Randi Buckley
The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast
Kate Anthony
4.4 • 575 Ratings
🗓️ 22 April 2019
⏱️ 47 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
The topic of boundaries often comes up in my Facebook groups and with my clients. If you're in an unhappy marriage, getting divorced, or already divorced, boundaries are constantly shifting and changing. As you maneuver through divorce or get acclimated to life after divorce, you might be having to hold your boundaries more firmly than ever before. Or maybe you're reading this and thinking, "I really need to get me some boundaries." Whatever the case may be, I've got you covered with today's podcast episode!
The ever-lovely and kind Randi Buckley is joining me to talk alll about boundaries. Randi is an internationally-recognized coach, author, and mentor, whose work helps women find their truth and be at peace with it. She is also the creator of Healthy Boundaries for Kind People.
When I first started out trying to set my own boundaries, it was god awfully messy. Randi's perspective offers a new, healthy and unique take on boundary-setting. What she teaches and how she teaches it has allowed me to make sense of a topic that previously escaped me. Today, she explains how to set healthy boundaries that are kind both to ourselves and to others.
Show Highlights
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Randi's unique view and definition of healthy boundaries: "Boundaries are the infrastructure for who you want to be and the life you want to live." (3:51)
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How values and boundaries go hand-in-hand (5:50)
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Turning a value into an action and how doing so can help instruct what your boundary needs to be (8:01)
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When we honor our boundaries it becomes really clear who in our lives are not respecting them (9:25)
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How to set boundaries that are safe and healthy for yourself and also allow for communication and collaboration in service of your children (13:28)
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How to set a boundary with someone who sees the boundary as an obstacle to overcome, plus Randi's garden analogy (22:01)
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Boundaries are an extension of kindness plus why "nice" and "kind" are fundamentally different (28:05)
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Handling resistance or push-back to your boundaries and the importance of allowing the other party to communicate their concerns while still standing by your boundary (30:47)
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Why kindness is a two-way street (38:02)
Learn More About Randi:
Randi Buckley is an internationally-recognized coach, author, and mentor, whose work helps women find their truth and be at peace with it. She is the creator of Healthy Boundaries for Kind People, Maybe Baby, and The Viking Woman Workshop. She is mama to Ravn and in her free time, untangles whales from fishing gear, in the Monterey Bay.
Links:
Randi's website
Randi on Instagram
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to another episode of the Divorce Survival Guide podcast, where we have real, honest, smart, |
| 0:11.6 | and sometimes even hilarious conversations about co-parenting, separation, and divorce, and all that goes along with that. |
| 0:18.9 | I'm Kate Anthony, your Divorce Survival Guide, certified |
| 0:22.0 | life and relationship coach, and happily divorced mom who helps women decide if they should |
| 0:26.8 | stay in or leave their marriages and then guides them through the process one step at a time. |
| 0:35.7 | Hey everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the Divorce Survival Guide podcast. I just have one |
| 0:44.6 | announcement today before we get into the podcast and that is that I am running my super popular |
| 0:51.0 | webinar. Should you stay in your marriage for your kids, three truths revealed. |
| 0:56.3 | Again, I have one coming up tomorrow, Tuesday, April 23rd, and if you miss that one, I'll be doing |
| 1:04.0 | it again on May 7th. So be sure to hop on over to the show notes to register for that as soon as possible and I'll probably |
| 1:12.3 | be throwing a few more on the calendar as we move forward. There'll be a link in the show notes and the |
| 1:17.4 | next dates will just show up automatically as I add them. Again, the topic is should you stay in |
| 1:22.4 | your marriage for your kids? Three truths revealed. Don't miss it. Sign up for it. It's awesome. All right. So back to |
| 1:31.9 | today's guest. So most topics of conversation within my Facebook groups, with my clients, and in my |
| 1:39.0 | programs, usually come down to one thing, boundaries. If you're in an unhappy marriage, if you're getting |
| 1:45.1 | divorced, if you're already divorced, boundaries are constantly shifting and changing. You may be |
| 1:52.1 | setting boundaries for the first time in your life. You might be having to hold your boundaries |
| 1:56.1 | more firmly than ever before. You might be listening to this and thinking, fuck, I really need to get |
| 2:03.1 | some boundaries. Whatever the case may be, I have got you covered today. When I first started out |
| 2:09.8 | trying to set my own boundaries, it was so god-awfully messy. The only way I knew how to set a |
| 2:17.1 | boundary was really firmly, like, really |
| 2:20.4 | bitchy. Like, fuck you, this is the new me. Don't step over this line that I just created. And if you do, |
... |
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