Episode 312: Shape of Shrimp

Your Kickstarter Sucks

Jesse Farrar & Mike Hale

Technology, Comedy

4.8 • 1.6K Ratings

🗓️ 17 July 2023

⏱️ 119 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

It would have made a lot of sense to stop doing episodes after we made it to 311…such a momentous occasion, such an incredible event, and of course it’s all downhill from there anyway. But according to recent polling, people are loving the slop more than ever before (and also we don’t have other jobs or things to do outside of sitting on the computer) and as a result, we have elected to continue doing the show for the foreseeable future! And as luck would have it, there were approximately 6 new things to talk about this week, including a guy reinventing drinking water, a guy reinventing sleeping, and finally, the discovery of a combination of sex and food that somehow fails to make any sense whatsoever. Looks like this one is coming in at the required length, so pop some pornocorn and let the AI-powered tablet beep and boop at you for a while…it’s time for a new YKS!

Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan.

If I were even more YKS content, just where would I hide….Oh yeah! YKS Premium on Patreon! Last week we were joined by our friends from E1 for a trip down Sandler Lane as YKS Beach Party 2 continues. And the only place to hear it, or get an invitation to Alex Branson’s Hawaiian House Party is at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks

This week’s YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:

Factor - My name is Bub and I love to eat Grub! That’s just my pitch for a character named Bub who loves healthy, convenient meals delivered straight to his front door. Oh and guess what? His dad died in the war so he has a lot of trauma to process. And according to this card here, the show has been canceled. Meanwhile I’m going to FactorMeals.com/yks50 for 50% off my order! Who cares about Bub! I’m glad he’s gone.

Schedule35 - Sometimes you have to think thoughts. I know, I know, I’d prefer not to as well. But it says here microdosing psilocybin can help make thinking thoughts more pleasant by creating new neural networks in the brain which help boost focus, creativity, mood enhancement. Now that’s what I call, eating some stuff that’s good. Get 15% Off with code YKS at Schedule35.co - That’s 15% off at Schedule35.co and use code YKS

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Yeah, that's right. They're still making your Kickstarter sucks. Yeah, Mike and Jay have
0:10.1	been still doing this stuff. They've been going for six years and haven't given it up.
0:14.5	So somehow here's another six pack of this type of junk. Yeah, that's right. We're still
0:18.5	doing these. Kickstarter sucks. Yeah, that's right. We're still doing these. Yeah, Mike and
0:24.1	Jay have haven't given this up. Yeah, that's right. Still doing your Kickstarter sucks.
0:30.4	Hey, Mike and Jay have congratulations on 311 knee slapping the funny episode. Hey,
0:39.6	and with those premium episodes over at patreon.com slash your Kickstarter sucks. I bet it's
0:46.4	311 more. And pony up the extra three bucks for Squeezie Louise here and see these two
0:52.7	knuckleheads in action. All right, store story when Las Vegas or when they've had a legalized
1:00.7	weed and went in there. It was buying some dummies and they had 311 branded dummies and I asked
1:07.3	their same price was normal ones and I asked the guy, is there any difference between the 311
1:11.5	dummies and the normal ones that he said no, these are just branded for 311 and I said I'll just take
1:17.2	the regular ones and he just said that seems to be the general consensus. Okay, that's the store story.
1:26.0	Love you all. Oh, sorry, I hit the beep. Do you think I thought he was done talking? Hey,
1:28.9	what are you welcome to a black ass episode 312? Let's start over. No, that's a good start.
1:36.8	The guy was talking a long time and you know what? I will say, by the way, Jesse, we should start
1:41.7	introducing ourselves. I need to start doing this. I'm Jesse Ferrar and Mike Hale is here as well.
1:46.7	He's my co-host of the show. You know who it is 311th episode here, J.F. They know who it is.
1:53.8	But we still should set the scene. You know what I mean? We still should still set it. You know,
1:58.5	I'm J.F. That's DB. I'm DB. Yeah. We're going to be walking you through the wild world
2:06.1	of crowdfunding. Anyway, I just all I did, I will say in my defense, I'm picking that voicemail. I
2:11.9	thought I just saw the transcript of it. And now hearing it, I can tell that he was being
	...

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