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Your Kickstarter Sucks

Episode 293: Justin Bieber Best Artist of the World

Your Kickstarter Sucks

Jesse Farrar & Mike Hale

Technology, Comedy

4.81.6K Ratings

🗓️ 6 March 2023

⏱️ 145 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

I’m watching one of those stupid pawn shows while I’m sitting here writing this episode description out, and man, are these the stupidest shows ever made or what? I mean I don’t know who is watching them, other than total morons, because they don’t say anything worth a damn and it’s so boring it puts me to sleep. Then you got the ads, and they’re even worse! Next thing you know, they’ll be asking you to subscribe just to hear even more of their inane crap? God, don’t give them any ideas. Anyway, call in your friends the Piss Whizzard, the Kickstarter CEO, and Billy West, and crack open a Pepsi of Shame, cause it’s time for an all new YKS!

Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan.


Some day the aliens will come to Earth and give us the power to experience funny ass jokes and moderately informative film criticism simultaneously. Until then, we’ll all have to settle for 3 boneheads making dick jokes and talking about movies: Farrarch! This past Friday we had one of the all time great boneheads Chris James uncork Jesseuary IV with a great flick, 2016’s Arrival. And just in case you thought we were gonna get any less boneheaded, we got our buddy Tim Kalpakis back for next week’s episode on the great Rian Johnson’s Looper! It’s a bonehead meeting, and you’re invited, only at YKS Premium.


This week’s YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:


Athletic Greens - Vitamins…now that’s what I call adaptogens! With AG1 I’m getting all that stuff in one swig rather than 50 different pills and capsules and so forth. Pretty good! Get a free 1 yr supply of Vitamin D (good vitamin) and 5 travel packs at AthleticGreens.com/yks


Factor - Meals and food! Meals and food! We love em around here, and Factor’s got some nice quick, ready to heat and eat meals they’ll send right to ya. Get 50% off your first box at FactorMeals.com/YKS50


RocketMoney - We all have too many subscriptions…well I have the perfect amount but I have heard that some people have too many. There should be an easy way to get control of one’s spending, maybe with an app or something??? Oh well! RocketMoney.com/yks


BetterHelp - Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/yks



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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Well, it's time to crack another six pack of cake starters up to these and stuff to suck to the man

0:10.0

Cause I'll think of these and stick in my body to be the thing that makes my congel go mad

0:17.0

That's all, that's all, that's all, that's all, I still keep drinking that garbage

0:24.0

I still keep drinking it up, cause I love it, man I need it

0:29.0

And this is your cake starters up

0:34.0

The podcast

0:39.0

Hey guys, I got of a sec to me recently

0:42.0

And the doctor tried to make a small talk with me

0:46.0

While he was manhandling my nut vac

0:50.0

And once he realized that I didn't know anything at all about sports

0:55.0

I just lay there in silence and he didn't say anything for a long time

1:00.0

I think it was like five minutes or so

1:03.0

And then out of nowhere he said that he used to play music during the sanctumies for people

1:09.0

But then I guess a patient told him one time that he ruined Eddie Fedder for him for the rest of his life

1:18.0

So he didn't play music for anyone, he doesn't play music for anyone anymore after that

1:25.0

And then after that I was like cool

1:29.0

And then lay there in silence for like another 10 minutes until he was done

1:36.0

Anyway, just wondering if you guys are getting the sanctumies at any point or if you already have

1:42.0

And if so, what music would you like to do ruined for you for the rest of your life while you get of a sanctumies?

1:51.0

I love the show, thanks

1:55.0

Hey everybody, what's going to YKS?

1:57.0

Now Mike, you told me that when you went to the penis doctor there was a lot of small talk as well, right?

...

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