A Case for Judge Christie, an unbelievable headline, Confessions, Assholes, and more.

This week is a Patreon appetizer sampler. Up in the night your heart fills with dread probably a murderer who wants you dead

it could be a ghost, a demon, or worse. Perhaps you're the victim of a witch's

curse. It's hopeless, you're doomed. You'd call a priest if you could. you'd rather just listen to sinisterhood.

I'm going to...

I'm going to kill you. Well, have the buzzing of chainsaws stopped around your house?

All is quiet on the Western front as of now, but from about 9 a.m. to 3 p.m.

it was just Chainslaw City over here.

So your husband once said Texas is where the chainsaws massacre?

Yeah, they did.

They had to massacre part of our beautiful oak tree in the front yard, which is like one of the reasons we bought this house.

It looks like it's out of a storybook. It's like the most amazing tree and it's just gorgeous and this really really bad storm we had

Morning slash I guess my phone went off at like 5 a.m.

with the loudest mother-fucking alarm,

it could have woken the dead.

And I was like, holy shit, like what is that?

And I grabbed my phone, it was like weather alert severe weather take sheltered I was like

Uh, babe I think that we might need to go in the bathroom. Yeah get the children and he like went to the window. He was like, oh shit and it was like, I mean it was

Wins as strong as the category one hurricane. That's what they said. 80 miles per hour winds.

So, and we think what happened actually is our tree got hit by lightning because there's this huge

burn mark and like, luckily it wasn't the whole tree but this giant limb cracked and then fell right on our neighbor's house on their roof and now they have a hole in their roof.

They were super cool about it.

...