Episode 28: The War On Christmas - 2019 Christmas Special

The Babylon Bee

Seth Dillon

Christianity, Religion & Spirituality, Comedy

4.4 • 2.9K Ratings

🗓️ 20 December 2019

⏱️ 63 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In the twenty-eighth episode of The Babylon Bee podcast, editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle welcome you to the Babylon Bee Christmas Special which will be much much better than the Star Wars Holiday special. Well, at least better than The Last Jedi. Kyle and Ethan talk to Captain Andy Miller of the Salvation Army, bring in two scholars to debate the existence of Santa Claus, talk Christmas movies, and read listener submitted stories.

Pre-order the new Babylon Bee Best-Of Coffee Table Book coming in 2020!

And if you need a last-minute Christmas gift, get someone a Bee subscription!

Show Outline

Stories Of The Week: Christmas stories over the years

Story 1 (2018) - Mall Santa Arrested For Punching Man Who Denied Divinity Of Christ

Story 2 (2017)- New Museum Memorializes Fallen Heroes In The War On Christmas

Story 3 (2016)- Starbucks Unveils New Satanic Holiday Cups

Dramatic Poem: The War On Christmas

Interview: A conversation with Captain Andy Miller III of The Salvation Army. Andy Miller is a sixth-generation Salvation Army officer who loves Jesus, his family, and the opportunity to serve God through The Salvation Army. He and his wife, Captain Abby Miller, have been officers since 2007. Andy is Area Commander of The Salvation Army - Tampa.

Main Topic: Christmas

The Great Debate for the Existence Of Santa with William Lane Kringle and Scrooge McDawkins
Kyle and Ethan’s Top Five Christmas movies:
- #5 Kyle: Die Hard, Ethan: Jingle All The Way
- #4 Kyle: Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer, Ethan: Gremlins
- #3 Kyle: Home Alone, Ethan: Die Hard
- #2 Kyle: It's Christmas Time Again, Charlie Brown, Ethan: A Christmas Story
- #1 Kyle: The Santa Clause, Ethan: Home Alone
Listener submitted Christmas stories

Paid Subscriber Portion:

Should you tell your kids Santa is real? Kyle, Ethan, and Dan debate.

Transcript

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0:00.0	In a world of fake news, this is news you can trust.
0:07.0	Winning the war on Christmas, even though candy canes are gross,
0:12.0	you're listening to the Babylon B, with your hosts, Kyle Mann and Ethan Nichol.
0:22.0	Oh, the fake news outside is frightful, but satire is so delightful.
0:28.0	And Babylon B is dope. Let it snopes, let it snopes, let it snopes.
0:44.0	Yeah, as we were sitting here, let it fire.
0:47.0	With a cup of cheer.
0:49.0	The cup of cheer.
0:50.0	Who put those chestnuts on that fire? They're roasting quite nicely.
0:53.0	I love that scent of chestnuts.
0:55.0	And eggnog boiling in the pot.
0:58.0	I love that we made Davis say dope.
1:01.0	Is that a drug reference?
1:04.0	It's a defintyle.
1:05.0	Everything is dope.
1:06.0	You can't think of anything good that's, well, not the drugs are good,
1:10.0	but somebody would say a good thing about the word.
1:13.0	I just, I don't like it.
1:14.0	It was between trouble.
1:15.0	It was between dope, fat and tight.
1:17.0	Yeah, what could you write with snopes?
1:18.0	And only dope.
	...

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