Good morning, everybody, and welcome to the highlight of human civilization,

2025 edition, Happy New Year.

If you'd like to take this new year up to levels of enjoyment that you can barely even understand

with your tiny, shiny human brains, all you need is a cup or mugger, glass of tanker,

Chelsea Stein, a Kentine, jugger, flask, a vessel of any kind.

Fill it with your favorite liquid.

I like coffee.

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happen right now. Go.

Well, it's the first day of my attempted no cursing.

I've tried this before with total failure.

But I'm going to try again.

A year with no substantial cursing.

We'll see if I can do it.

Well, surprisingly, there are stories. I thought it would be such a slow news day that

be nothing to talk about. They're not all good stories. We'll get to that. So you know how

the science always shows that conservatives have more of an ick factor? They get grossed down

at things and that's what makes

them conservatives. Have you ever heard that? I've been hearing that research my whole adult life.

A new study says that the thing that makes conservatives conservative is they get icked out

easier than other people. Well, according to

...