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The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast

Episode 27: Taming Your Inner Critic with Master Coach, Cynthia Loy Darst

The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast

Kate Anthony

Education, Relationships, Self-improvement, Society & Culture

4.4575 Ratings

🗓️ 11 February 2019

⏱️ 55 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

This week I am so excited to introduce you to Cynthia Loy Darst. Cynthia is a Co-Active Coach, relationship worker and keynote speaker. She is also the author of the book, Meet Your Inside Team: How to Turn Internal Conflict into Clarity and Move Forward with Your Life. Cynthia holds a very special place in my heart. She was my first coach and mentor when I began my own coaching journey. The entire foundation for what I do today, I owe to her. Having her on my podcast is such a special treat.

So do you ever have that inner voice that says, "Who the hell do you think you are?,"  when you are about to make a massive change (like say... divorce)? It's a nasty voice, one you don't want to hear.  Well in this episode Cynthia teaches us how to turn towards that inner voice ( which she calls the inner bully) and ask it, with compassion, "What do you need? What's going on here?" She teaches us how to slow down our inner dialogue and start to find our way forward with kindness, clarity, and grace. In addition we talk about navigating myth change (moving from one phase of life to the next), transitioning relationships and grieving the disappointed dream. This week's episode is definitely one that asks you to look inward and do the work to uncover the many aspects of yourself.

Show Highlights

  • The concept of her new book, Meet Your Inside Team and the importance of slowing down your inner dialogue (10:21)
  • Tuning into the players that make up your inside team (aka inner dialogue) (13:34)
  • Knowing when to slow down and listen to your inside team (15:26)
  • Grounding yourself in your adult self and listening without getting freaked out (22:27)
  • Cynthia shares some examples of exercises you can find in the book Meet Your Inside Team that will help uncover your different inside team players (27:30)
  • Being curious and the importance of curiosity for each player (28:54)
  • How to stay in an objective frame in mind when you are scared or triggered (29:58)
  • Honoring the process of divorce (42:20)
  • Transitioning relationships and myth change; when we change a narrative there is something we gain and something we lose (44:11)
  • The disappointed dream: mourning the loss of the dream and myth change (49:35)
  • Any large transition like divorce requires a lot of patience (55:22)

Learn More About Cynthia:

Cynthia Loy Darst is a Co-Active Coach, a relationship worker, keynote speaker, author, provocateur (emcee), course leader, coach trainer, talent scout, leader developer & trainer, team and large group facilitator, business consultant, media guest, and workshop creator. She has been a Front of the Room Leader for CTI (The Coaches Training Institute) and CRR Global, since each of them began, and has played an active role in leader development for both schools.

Whether she is  working with individuals, partnerships, leaders or teams, she is  always focused on awareness, growth, and development. Cynthia works with people from all walks of life: CEOs to chiropractors, singers to Silicon Valley pros, teams that produce documentaries to sales teams in the insurance industry.  She loves to explore their unique strengths and challenges and work with them to become ever more effective in their work and their world.

Links:

Cynthia's website: TeamDarst.com
Cynthia on social media: Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter
Team Darst on social media: Facebook
Cynthia's TEDx Talk: Safe Inside Yourself

Meet Your Inside Team: How to Turn Internal Conflict into Clarity and Move Forward with Your Life

----------

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Should I Stay or Should I Go?

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LEARN MORE --> https://www.kateanthony.com/stay-or-go-group

 

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Welcome to another episode of the Divorce Survival Guide podcast, where we have real, honest, smart,

0:11.6

and sometimes even hilarious conversations about co-parenting, separation, and divorce, and all that goes along with that.

0:18.9

I'm Kate Anthony, your Divorce Survival Guide, certified life and relationship coach,

0:23.7

and happily divorced mom who helps women decide if they should stay in or leave their marriages

0:28.0

and then guides them through the process one step at a time.

0:35.1

Hey, everyone.

0:36.7

Welcome back to another episode of the Divorce Survival Guide podcast. I am so grateful that you're spending a little bit more time with me today. I've got some really, I've got an amazing episode for you today. This one is really close to my heart because the woman that I'm interviewing today was my first coach.

0:58.0

She was my first teacher.

1:00.7

She literally taught the very first class that I ever went to when I first became a coach.

1:06.2

And I was trying to, I was just checking it out.

1:09.6

And I walked into this training program and she was the

1:14.5

very first teacher that I had and she was the first person to tap me and say, you need to be

1:18.8

doing this professionally. And she later became my coach and my mentor and then a dear friend.

1:26.7

And so I am super excited to be bringing you Cynthia

1:29.8

Lloyd Darsst on today's podcast. But before I give you, Cynthia, I want to tell you that my program,

1:39.9

my group coaching program, which I've told you a bunch about over the last couple of months,

1:43.8

is open for registration right now. You can check that out. You can go to

1:51.1

Kateanthony.com slash stay or go, stay or go group. Or if you just go to my website,

1:58.1

if you go to Kateanthony.com and then under the Work With Me tab,

2:03.0

you will see the very, it's the very first option. I just want to give you a couple of, just

2:09.6

you know, a couple tidbits about it. So the next round, it starts March 4th and it runs through

2:16.2

May 24th. And it's divided into three modules. It is a 12-week

...

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