Episode 251: When Parents Parent Differently Than We Do
Feeding The Mouth That Bites You: Parenting Teens Into Adulthood
Kenneth Wilgus, Cynthia Yanof
4.8 • 801 Ratings
🗓️ 19 May 2026
⏱️ 31 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Dr. Ken and Cynthia tackle one of the trickiest parts of raising teenagers: what happens when the other parents in your world handle things very differently than you do. From phones and parties to dating rules, sleepovers, vaping, alcohol, and “everybody else is allowed,” they talk through how parents can stay consistent without trying to control every influence around their kids.
They discuss the tension that comes when your kid feels like everyone else has more freedom, why trying to micromanage your teenager’s environment usually backfires, and how parents can balance standing firm on important issues without turning every disagreement into a battle. Dr. Ken also explains why phones continue to be the biggest source of conflict in families today—and why helping teens grow in judgment matters the most.
If you’ve ever felt exhausted trying to hold boundaries while every other family seems to be doing something different, this episode is for you.
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You can order Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here
You can order Cynthia's book "Life Is Messy, God Is Good" here
You can order Cynthia's book "How'd I Miss That" here
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome back to Feeding the Mouth to Bight You, a weekly podcast guide on parenting teens and launching them into the world. |
| 0:15.3 | I'm Cynthia Yanov, and as always, I'm joined by psychologist and author Dr. Ken Wilgus. |
| 0:39.9 | Hey, Dr. Ken, welcome to your podcast. Hey, thanks again. Thanks for letting me. Thanks for having me. Thanks for having me. Do you ever worry that if you call it sick, that I would just do it and be like, so, guys, this is how we handle. It's crossed my mind. Like when she welcomes me, I'm thinking, did I miss one? |
| 0:41.9 | Was there one I wasn't there for? |
| 0:43.3 | We're glad you're back. |
| 0:46.5 | The last few weeks have been sketchy, but we've gotten through it. |
| 0:47.7 | We've gotten through it. |
| 0:48.0 | It's fine. Yeah. |
| 0:49.9 | One time one of my kids was dating someone and was telling me that, well, wasn't telling me, |
| 0:57.7 | they don't tell you anything at that age. |
| 0:59.1 | I was asking questions and they said basically, chill out. |
| 1:02.7 | We were just upstairs watching a movie. |
| 1:05.6 | And I was like, huh, because you don't go upstairs in our house with your significant other you stay downstairs |
| 1:12.1 | and and we might even send the young one in all the time you know for little errands that we make |
| 1:16.5 | us and so um i ended up talking to the other parents um who are good friends by the way and said hey |
| 1:24.6 | not so great on them being upstairs, not our favorite. |
| 1:28.8 | Can we kind of all agree that, you know, downstairs and blah, blah, blah. |
| 1:32.2 | And didn't run that by said child or said young adults, just did it. |
| 1:36.9 | Foughts, parents who parent differently. |
| 1:39.5 | What do we do there? |
| 1:40.1 | Hey, I was fine with it right up until the, you didn't tell your kid that you were going to do that. |
| 1:46.6 | Told him after or her. It's fine. And you wouldn't ask your kid. You would just inform them. |
... |
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