Episode 247: They Just Don’t Score
The Short Porch
Barstool Sports
4.5 • 1.7K Ratings
🗓️ 22 April 2021
⏱️ 52 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
The Yankees split their series with the Braves and come away not feeling any better about themselves. The offense is abysmal, never stringing together any sort of momentum or hope. Gleyber Torres is as bad as thought can possibly imagine. Boone continues his stupid run of clichés that only further piss off the fanbase. Mike Ford was promoted and made a few nice plays while also rocking a killer stache. Taillon and Kluber showed improvements. Still, the offense does nothing. Everything is bad. We are sad. At least the Knicks are good. Outro Song: “Can I Take You There” (via APM Music Library)
You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/theshortporch
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | Hey short porch listeners, you can find us every Thursday on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. |
| 0:05.5 | Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. |
| 0:30.0 | Back at the wall, they ain't even tidied it again. |
| 0:35.0 | They're a cheater, and just final game with a walkoff single. |
| 0:40.0 | They're a cheater, but embarrassing, because reality, did you have any depth? |
| 0:46.5 | There's a fly ball, these collapse, it's on a plate! |
| 0:49.0 | There it goes, have a yank, you just go into the world, there it is! |
| 0:54.5 | Alright, here comes the judge. |
| 0:59.5 | It is Labor Day, and he is a Labor of the Month! |
| 1:06.5 | Throw game over, Yankee win! |
| 1:11.5 | Yankee win! |
| 1:15.5 | What's up, what's happening? Welcome to another edition of the Short Ports, |
| 1:25.5 | presented by Barstle Sports, I'm your host, Tubbs. |
| 1:27.5 | On the other side of the laptop, Tommy Smokes, Tom Scabelli, Marty Merced, |
| 1:30.5 | T.J. in the ones and twos. |
| 1:34.5 | We just don't hit, we just don't hit. |
| 1:37.5 | No one hits. |
| 1:38.5 | No, it's just, it's so, it continues to speed, we say unwatchful, but like, we just don't hit. |
| 1:43.5 | No one hits. |
| 1:44.5 | It's insane. |
| 1:45.5 | I was at the game today, if ball goes in the outfield, if people get excited, it doesn't |
| 1:48.5 | even look like a home run or anything, but like, it's like, oh, wow! |
... |
Please login to see the full transcript.
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Barstool Sports, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.
Generated transcripts are the property of Barstool Sports and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.
Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.