Episode 244: The Phone Battle You’re Not Supposed to Win

Feeding The Mouth That Bites You: Parenting Teens Into Adulthood

Kenneth Wilgus, Cynthia Yanof

Education, How To, Religion & Spirituality, Kids & Family, Christianity, Parenting

4.8 • 801 Ratings

🗓️ 31 March 2026

⏱️ 32 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Cynthia and Dr. Ken dive into one of the biggest parenting struggles right now—adolescents and their phones. From screen time issues to kids finding creative ways around the rules (hello, burner phones and smartwatches), it’s clear this isn’t going anywhere.

Dr. Ken reframes the whole conversation by reminding us this isn’t about controlling phones—it’s about raising young adults. That means setting clear limits (like when phones aren’t allowed), expecting pushback, and holding boundaries without being shocked when they try to get around them.

We also talk about what doesn’t work (reward systems and over-controlling) and what actually helps—shifting toward conversations, ownership, and preparing them for life after your house. And of course, we hit the frustration every parent feels—when they’re technically following the rules but still glued to their phone.

If this is a struggle in your house, you’re not alone—and this episode will help you think about it in a healthier, more realistic way.

If you have a minute, please leave us a review. We love hearing listeners encouraging other listeners.

You can order Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here

You can order Cynthia's book "Life Is Messy, God Is Good" here

You can pre-order Cynthia's book "How'd I Miss That" here

Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! podcast@feedingthemouth.com

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome back to Feeding the Mouth to Bight You, a weekly podcast guide on parenting teens and launching them into the world.
0:15.4	I'm Cynthia Yanov, and as always, I'm joined by psychologist and author Dr. Ken Wilgus.
0:39.3	All right, here we are, Dr. Ken. We're back. Feels like it's been a while. Hi. Hi. I'll tell you what's not good is when you're getting ready to tape a show on phones and technology and that kind of stuff. And literally my technology doesn't work. We just went weird. We just spent, what, three days trying this it seems like feels like it so everyone as you're listening my mic is not working and we're going with plan
0:44.6	B which Dr. Ken referred to as a tin can earlier. Yes and we apologize yet at the same time here we are
0:51.9	it's free content everyone that's right I will get it fixed. But,
0:56.3	um, okay, so we get so many great questions from people and it does, we don't answer all of
1:02.4	them obviously, but it does help us to drive content sometimes when we see something
1:06.9	repeated over and over and over. And recently, everybody is struggling with cell phones
1:12.5	and their kids and screen time and all of that. So I felt like first. Yeah, right? I know. And so let's,
1:20.6	well, first of all, when you and I were growing up, and by let's be very clear, we were not growing
1:25.2	at the same time. You and I are much different age brackets.
1:29.0	That's right.
1:29.6	I'm older than you.
1:31.4	I'm just like mid-jariatic.
1:33.6	It's fine, everyone.
1:35.2	But, I mean, I was thinking back with my parents, and I would get in trouble for staying on the phone, like the house line for so long because nobody else I could call in or
1:45.8	whatever. With the long cord that went into the laundry room or whatever that I could put it in
1:51.6	and just talk in private. Right. And then we had that call waiting and I wouldn't answer the other line
1:57.5	because I didn't want to have to. So'd be like nobody called or I'm aware of my
2:02.0	parents like okay so and that was like the big struggle and now we've got the whole cell phone thing
2:07.3	and so I remember having this conversation with my teens a couple years ago and um talking about
2:13.2	being present I still talked about being present when I're home from college but being present
	...

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