to tell by the very first story.

Do you ever turn on a movie or a TV show

and you're positive you can tell if you will like that TV or movie show

in the first 30 seconds. You all do that right? It's like 30 seconds and you know if

you want to watch that show. Well probably the same with me. Our first story is that actor

LaVar Burton, who is black, which is important to the story and not a racist

comment. It was shocked to discover that he's descended from a Confederate

soldier. Now I don't know if he has any slaveholders on his side but I just wonder how much he owes himself and

reparations. All right that's my first joke but I swear I've got a few seconds left. I can do better.

I can do better. Don't leave me. I can do better. All right, we'll try.

Here's some fake science from NBC News on weed.

Now every time you see NBC News as a source of a story,

what should your brain say to you to keep you on track?

Your brain should say to you, I don't know if this is true, but smart people tell me that

NBC Do's is really just an organ of the CIA. So any message me that

the NBC news is really just an organ of the CIA. So any message that is in their news, you could

imagine, I can't confirm this to be true, it's merely an allegation, that it's what the government wants you to know, or at least

the CIA. Do you think the government wants you to smoke less weed? Probably. Probably they do. So now, NBC News says that the science, you know, there's more weed smoking

than ever, it's at a high level, and they say that it's now, it might be linked

to certain heart issues.

Oh, well, that's pretty serious.

It might be linked to certain heart issues.

...