Episode 234: Healing from Relationship Betrayal with Michelle Mays
The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast
Kate Anthony
4.4 • 574 Ratings
🗓️ 21 September 2023
⏱️ 58 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Michelle Mays, author of The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Has Hurt You the Worst, joins me for an in-depth conversation about healing from betrayal. Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and expert in treating sexual betrayal and trauma. She is also the founder of the Center for Relational Recovery in Northern Virginia, outside of DC.
"Divorce is common, and cheating is common. Because they are common, it doesn't mean they're not tremendously significant and have enormous ramifications for our mental and physical health," says Michelle. During our conversation, we discuss the importance of understanding what happened, explore betrayal through the lens of attachment systems, and unravel what happens to us when we experience this enormous injury.
Featured topics include:
- A new attachment-based model for understanding the impacts of cheating in relationships (8:58)
- Some of the binds in relationships that we can get stuck in including the shame bind and relational binds (12:01)
- What gets in the way of leaving when we want or know we need to leave (35:43)
- Healing and repairing relationships: what it means to stay, and what it takes to repair the fractures betrayal has caused (45:02)
- The difference between rebuilding emotional connection and rebuilding sexual connection (50:21)
Learn more about Michelle Mays:
Michelle Mays is a Licensed Professional Counselor and expert in treating sexual betrayal and trauma. She's also the author of the new book The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Has Hurt You the Worst. Michelle has created The Braving Hope™ Treatment Model to address the devastating dilemma that betrayed partners face when their significant other is unsafe to connect to, yet connection is the key to healing.
Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor in Virginia and Washington DC, and a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Supervisor. She was trained by Pia Mellody in the Post Induction Therapy model for treating developmental trauma and is currently completing her PhD in Clinical Sexology and certification in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples.
Resources & Links:
Information and links may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-234-healing-from-relationship-betrayal-with-michelle-mays/
Pre-order Kate's book "The D Word"
Michelle's website
Michelle's book, The Betrayal Bind
Michelle on Facebook
Michelle on Instagram
Michelle on YouTube
Facing Codependence, Pia Mellody
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the Divorce Survival Guide podcast, where we have open and honest conversations about co-parenting, separation, divorce, and the hardest question of all, should you stay or should you go. |
| 0:17.8 | I'm Kate Anthony, your divorce survival guide, and I'm here to help you navigate some of |
| 0:23.3 | the roughest waters you've ever swum in and answer some of your toughest questions. I've been to |
| 0:29.1 | hell and back, and now it's my mission in life to help you get to the other side of this process |
| 0:35.1 | with your sanity and your heart intact. |
| 0:44.6 | Hey everyone, welcome back. So today I have with me, Michelle Mays, and I am really excited about this conversation. I'm excited for you |
| 0:57.7 | guys to hear it. When I first read Michelle's bio, I kind of did a really geeky fan girl |
| 1:06.6 | because Michelle is, was trained by Pia Melody in the post-induction therapy model for treating |
| 1:19.6 | developmental trauma. And if you know anything about my feelings about Pia melody, they are |
| 1:27.1 | extreme. If you have feelings about Pia Melody, they are extreme. |
| 1:28.7 | If you have not read Pia Melody's book Facing Codependence, Get It Like Today. |
| 1:36.2 | And then also Michelle's book as well. |
| 1:39.1 | So she is a licensed professional counselor and an expert in treating sexual betrayal and trauma. |
| 1:48.7 | And she is the author of the new book, The Betrayal Bind, How to Heal, When the Person You Love the Most, |
| 1:55.6 | has hurt you the worst. |
| 1:57.8 | And she is the founder of the Center for Relational Recovery in Northern Virginia |
| 2:02.9 | outside of D.C. As I said, Michelle has been, was trained by P.M. Melody. Her book is phenomenal. |
| 2:13.9 | You must get it. If you have been betrayed, then this book is 100% for you. This conversation is for you. This conversation is for everybody, whether you've been betrayed or not. It's a really wonderful exploration of all sorts of things. So, without further ado, here is my conversation with Michelle Mays. |
| 2:39.3 | Michelle, thank you so much for coming on and having this just what is going to be an amazing conversation. |
| 2:49.0 | Well, I'm really excited to be here. I'm excited for the chat we're going to have. |
| 2:53.6 | Yeah. So as I was telling you before we hit record, so I'm a huge PMLity fan. You are trained by PMLody. |
| 3:02.8 | And so I'm having a little like fan girl by proxy kind of situation. |
... |
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