Episode 233: Gaslighting Recovery for Women with Dr. Amelia Kelley
The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast
Kate Anthony
4.4 • 574 Ratings
🗓️ 14 September 2023
⏱️ 66 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Dr. Amelia Kelley is back! You may remember her from the popular episode about being a highly sensitive person (HSP), strategies for self-care, and how being an HSP can affect relationships. This time, we are talking about healing from gaslighting. In fact, Dr. Kelley has a new book/workbook called, "Gaslighting Recovery for Women." She shares some of the book's insights in this episode.
We talk about how to recover from gaslighting, including the importance of understanding it, and then, later, some steps toward healing. Dr. Kelley's passion is to equip women who have experienced gaslighting to understand what happened to them, how to protect themselves from potential gaslighting in the future, and how to understand the nuances between medical, relational, societal, and family gaslighting.
Featured topics include:
- Gaslighting: what it is, what it isn't, and where/how it shows up (8:13)
- The act of lying is not gaslighting (11:27)
- Tactics of gaslighting used by abusers (14:09)
- The seven stages of gaslighting (21:56)
- How gaslighting affects women, specifically (36:11)
- How do you get out of a relationship where gaslighting is occurring? (40:13)
- Beginning to heal: It is a time to be inquisitive, not a time to blame or shame yourself and enhance your relationship with Self (56:13)
Learn more about Dr. Amelia Kelly:
Dr. Amelia Kelley is a trauma-informed therapist who has conducted research on the effects of exercise on adult ADHD symptoms as well as the effects of resiliency on PTSD. She is a trained Hypno-therapist, Art therapist, HSP Therapist, EMDR-informed therapist, meditation teacher, as well as a Certified Yoga instructor integrating therapeutic yoga and psychotherapy. She is a trainer, podcaster and writer in the "science-help" field focusing on; women's issues, empowering survivors of abuse and relationship trauma, Highly Sensitive Persons, motivation, healthy living, and adult ADHD.
Dr. Kelley is an adjunct counseling professor at Yorkville University as well as a nationally recognized relationship expert featured on XM Radio's Doctor Channel on The Psychiatry Show. She is a coach and trainer for SAS's Work/Life Program in Cary, NC and a resident trainer for the NC Art Therapy Institute. Her private practice is currently part of the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium at the Kinsey Institute. She is a co-author of What I Wish I Knew: Surviving and Thriving After an Abusive Relationship and a contributing author for the Highly Sensitive Refuge. You can find out more about her work at her website www.ameliakelley.com or by following her on Instagram @drameliakelley.
Resources & Links:
Information and links may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-233-gaslighting-recovery-for-women-with-dr-amelia-kelley
Pre-order Kate's book "The D Word"
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Dr. Kelley's website
Gaslighting Recovery for Women
Dr Kelley's Insight Timer
Dr. Kelley on Instagram
What My Bones Know, Stephanie Foo
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the Divorce Survival Guide podcast, where we have open and honest conversations about co-parenting, separation, divorce, and the hardest question of all, should you stay or should you go. |
| 0:17.8 | I'm Kate Anthony, your divorce survival guide, and I'm here to help you navigate some of |
| 0:23.3 | the roughest waters you've ever swum in and answer some of your toughest questions. I've been to |
| 0:29.1 | hell and back, and now it's my mission in life to help you get to the other side of this process |
| 0:35.1 | with your sanity and your heart intact. |
| 0:47.7 | Hey, everyone. Welcome back. Are all your kids back in school? |
| 0:55.4 | Ha ha ha. |
| 1:03.1 | You know, here in L.A., kids go to start school in, like, the beginning of August. |
| 1:05.2 | It's a fucking nightmare. |
| 1:08.2 | I think it's a national atrocity. |
| 1:14.3 | But for those of you who have civilized schools, also in L.A., like, private schools go back after Labor Day, like civilized people. But the L.A. public school system is |
| 1:22.1 | like barbaric and makes kids go back to school when it's, you know, 6,000 degrees out. I don't |
| 1:27.1 | understand it. |
| 1:27.8 | But anyway, so I feel like a lot of you are in this position and I see this sort of uptick |
| 1:33.7 | every year when kids go back to school, the summer's over, and now you're starting to get |
| 1:40.4 | back into your regular life and your regular routine and you're starting to feel |
| 1:47.4 | like, oh, fuck, I need to face this shit. That is, if you're still trying to decide, you know, |
| 1:55.9 | whether to stay or go. If you're still in this marriage, in whatever capacity, and you are, and you've kind of |
| 2:03.2 | been putting it off and you're like, okay, like after the summer, we've got all these summer |
| 2:06.8 | plans. Let me just get through this, right? Kids go back to school and then we're like, oh, |
| 2:11.3 | here we are. Here we still are, right? There are certain markers throughout the year. |
| 2:16.6 | And I think kids going back to school is one of them. So if this is you, you're not alone, first of all. Secondly, I have programs for you. I have my should I stay or should I go online program, which is amazing and has helped thousands of women make this really difficult decision. |
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