All right, should we get to our sexy story this week?

Ladies, gentlemen, you cannot unsuck that dick.

It was hot.

It was really quite something.

Do you like when someone else makes me moan?

Do not show up looking like you slept in your clothes, in your car.

There is nothing sexier than getting railed by two dudes at the same time.

I'll just say that.

So I don't think this is going to surprise anyone, but I sustained another sex injury, which we're going to be talking

about today. I'm just going to say it was 1,000% worth it. So we'll get to the details of that very

soon. But first, we want to say thank you to cassidy.com for sponsoring this episode of

Front Porch Swingers. Cassidy is an amazing lifestyle site that we use literally all the time to

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and lots of different scenarios. We meet people via DMs and go out and do one-on-one or two-on-two

things. We also find events. We've heard about many amazing events from Cassidy. So basically,

if you're looking to immerse yourself in the lifestyle, Cassidy is the place to be.

And you can try it free for an entire month when you go to front porch swingers.com and click on the Cassidy banner at the homepage. Again, front porch swingers.com, click on the Cassidy banner and get an

entire month of free access. We hope to see you at Cassidy.com. So we've had an eventful few days. I can't even take you seriously. Brian's wearing sunglasses in our studio right now. That's because you're making fun of me, so I have to put my sunglasses on. I had a contact malfunction. Something happened. My contact slipped into my eye while I was asleep, woke up, had to tear the fucking thing out, and my eye is swollen. It looks like I was poked in the eye with a fork. So now you look like freaking Mike the situation from Jersey Shore. I don't know what the fucker mean. He always used to wear sunglasses in the clubs. Well, it's a douche move. But anyway, my fucking eye hurts. The light in here is a fucking with my vision. So I'm just wearing

fucking sunglasses and you're making fun of me because I look like I have a disease. I'm sorry. I can't stop. It's like I have poison ivy of the eye. Yeah, it definitely does. It looks like. That's exactly what it looks like. Like you rubbed some sort of a poisonous plant in your fucking eye. Yeah. Anyway, it's just going to have to be what it is. You're still super sexy. That makes you feel any better. Not having it. You're also a year older. We celebrated your birthday a couple days ago. Two days ago as we were recording this. Yes, it was two days ago, right? Yeah, two days ago. In fact, we had a busy few days in general because Thursday we had an event. It went very well. Kind of. Kind of went well. You again suffered an injury due to your slutty sexual

behavior. Worth it. The clumsiest person I know. I don't know how you managed to do this

shit. But you did. But yes, it was a lot of fun. We had some great fucking people there.

Some very, some really good friends, some new friends. It was a very cool fucking night. Yeah, I really enjoyed it. And then we woke up Friday, which was your actual birthday. And we celebrated it. I mean, we worked a little bit in the morning, but the majority of the day was celebrating you, which you never let me do for your birthday. So I was very excited about that, because you just don't stop. It's just so much. I fucking love birthdays. I love them. I hate them. I hate mine. I mean, I'm happy to celebrate yours. Mine, I fucking have no interest in it. I would have gone way more over the top if you would let me just throwing that out there. Super glad you did. I tempered it way back. I'm very happy that you did not. But we had a great time, had a great dinner, and one of our favorite restaurants. It was romantic in there, and I liked that. You and I don't tend to go to very romantic places because we like lively places where we can, like, you know, flirt with the bartenders and there's lots going on.

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