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TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

Episode #2243: Sports Grudges Are The Best Grudges w/ Jen Andrews

TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

TBTL

Comedy, Leisure

4.82.4K Ratings

🗓️ 3 November 2016

⏱️ 67 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Jen "Flash" Andrews stops by and discusses Men's Jewelry, Sports Grudges, Lindsey Lohan, and Starbucks "Pup Cups", plus hands out some advice for a listener with a workplace "OPP".

Special thanks to Stanford Blade & Jacqeline H. and John Paul Christensen for supporting this episode of TBTL! 

 

Transcript

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0:00.0

This is our store. You're in the way of our store. We're gonna go in, and we're gonna come out in 20 minutes

0:06.3

and I want you guys gone. We are a peaceful organization, but at this time, this makes me very warlike.

0:14.0

So help me, God. I will jump from head to head

0:18.4

using your skulls as stepping stones into the river that is the street. And I'm gonna take tea and

0:24.2

take a sip of it and spit it into each and every one of your mouths.

0:29.0

A little burn me, but it'll burn you twice. Burn me once with tea, shame on me.

0:36.2

Burn you twice in your own mouth. Shame on everybody. Involved.

0:46.4

Hello town jubilation committee. Yeah, I got something to make you a lot less jubilant.

0:51.0

I don't talk trash. I talk smack. They're totally different.

0:54.5

Trashock is a hypothetical. Like your mom is so fat she could eat the internet, but smack talk is happening like right now.

1:01.2

Like you're ugly and I know it for a fact because I get the evidence right there.

1:05.1

So it was you. I was going to expose you. I know. So I choose to expose myself.

1:10.6

This isn't what happened last week. Have you all got amnesia? They just cheated us. This isn't fair.

1:16.9

Sweetie, have a good show. What you do is so important.

1:20.6

Well, we certainly like to think so. What we're doing right here is a Thursday afternoon edition of TBTL,

1:31.6

the show that just might be too beautiful to live. It's the story of a man with a brothel of a home and a pool filled with human

1:39.1

excrement. I'm that man with a pool filled with human excrement.

1:43.9

Actually, right now it's filled with like rainwater and leaves and other

1:49.4

Atominal things. I mean, maybe there's some excrement in there too. I don't actually know.

1:54.9

By the way, my name is Luke Burbank coming to you from the Burbank Springs Broadcast Center,

2:00.2

Perchtoff, Alabama Hill, in Bellingham, Washington, the Bay City.

2:03.8

Oh, la la!

...

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