Episode 22: Grief, Nostalgia and Letting Go with Andrea Owen
The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast
Kate Anthony
4.4 • 575 Ratings
🗓️ 19 November 2018
⏱️ 65 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
I'm super excited to bring you my latest podcast episode with my dear friend Andrea Owen of Your Kick-Ass Life.
I've been a guest on Andrea's podcast quite a number of times now, so I feel honored to finally have her on mine!
Andrea and I have spoken many times privately over the years about the grief that goes along with divorce, most importantly the unexpected grief of losing precious extended family.
For both Andrea and me, our in-laws were very much like a family we'd never had, and we were both completely taken by surprise by how much losing them in our divorces ripped us apart. (Spoiler, the fact that I have a kid has helped me stay connected to my in-laws, while not having kids with her first husband gave no reason for Andrea to stay connected to hers.)
Andrea is a life coach, an author, and a hell-raiser, with a passion for empowering women to value themselves and to fiercely love who they are. She helps high-achieving women to let go of perfectionism, control, and isolation- and choose courage and confidence instead. Listen in today to hear what Andrea has to share with you about dealing with the difficult emotions that result from going through a divorce.
Show Highlights:
- Andrea shares her divorce story.
- Coping with the grief of losing a dream — and a family.
- The idea of conscious uncoupling was not yet on the table when Andrea and I got divorced and that impacted both of our experiences.
- Most of us don't want to deal with grief so it follows us everywhere and becomes a weight on our shoulders.
- The importance of communicating through transitions — including with your in-laws.
- The importance of setting and holding really firm boundaries throughout your divorce with all the various people in your life and family.
- Coping with guilt and shame.
- Taking responsibility for your mistakes can help prevent creating negative patterns in future relationships.
- We talk about how 12-step work has helped both of us, and how learning about our character defects has been really helpful to our growth.
- Andrea, who is certified in the work of Brené Brown, teaches Shame Resilience.
Resources:
"The only thing more unthinkable than leaving was staying; the only thing more impossible than staying was leaving." Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.
Links:
Andrea's website: www.yourkickasslife.com
Andrea's podcast: http://yourkickasslife.com/blog/
Kate's episodes on Andrea's podcast:
An Honest Conversation about Body Image with Kate Anthony
An Honest Conversation about Body Image with Kate Anthony, Part Deux
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to another episode of the Divorce Survival Guide podcast, where we have real, honest, smart, and sometimes even hilarious conversations about co-parenting, separation, and divorce, and all that goes along with that. |
| 0:18.9 | I'm Kate Anthony, your Divorce Survival Guide, certified life and relationship coach, |
| 0:23.7 | and happily divorced mom who helps women decide if they should stay in or leave their marriages |
| 0:28.1 | and then guides them through the process one step at a time. |
| 0:34.1 | Hey, everybody. |
| 0:35.6 | Welcome back to another episode of the Divorce Survival Guide podcast. I know that you have a |
| 0:43.4 | million things going on in your life and your schedule is nuts and you're trying to fit in all the |
| 0:50.1 | things. So I truly, truly appreciate the time that you take to spend a little bit of time with me. |
| 0:56.2 | So thank you. And I'm super excited today to bring you an episode with my dear friend Andrea Owen of |
| 1:04.6 | your kick-ass life. For those of you who don't know Andrea, she is a life coach, an author, a hellraiser, and she is |
| 1:14.1 | passionate about empowering women to value themselves and fiercely love who they are. She helps |
| 1:20.7 | high-achieving women let go of perfectionism, control, and isolation, and choose courage |
| 1:26.9 | and confidence instead. |
| 1:29.0 | You can find Andrea over at Your KickassLife.com, and links to her podcast are there too, |
| 1:34.5 | which I highly recommend listening to. |
| 1:37.1 | I've been a guest on Andrea's podcast, I think seven or eight times by now. |
| 1:43.1 | I actually kicked off the series that she now calls |
| 1:47.3 | conversations about shit that matters with unqualified people. And we sort of unofficially |
| 1:54.4 | started that series when she had me on her podcast to talk about recovering from my eating disorder and diet culture. |
| 2:03.7 | And if you have never heard those episodes, I will link to those in the show notes because they are pretty powerful. |
| 2:12.4 | If I do say so, myself. |
| 2:13.5 | So she wanted to have people just who are not experts in things, just women talking about shit that they're struggling with. So we did two episodes on that. And then we did two episodes on rape culture in the last couple of weeks. So we'll link to all of those in the show notes. And you can listen to those there. But anyway, so I've been on her podcast a bunch of times. And I'm so honored to be able to bring her here to talk today about grief, |
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