Episode 215: The Secret to Getting Along, with Gabrielle Hartley, Esq.
The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast
Kate Anthony
4.4 • 574 Ratings
🗓️ 4 May 2023
⏱️ 47 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Gabrielle Hartley returns to the show to discuss the secret to getting along with others! Gabrielle is co-chair of the American Bar Association Mediation Committee,
a divorce attorney, online mediator, founder of The Private Divorce Solution, and author of "Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate." Her new book, "The Secret to Getting Along and Why It's Easier Than You Think," is available for pre-order.
Gabrielle says that when you learn the steps of getting along, there is nothing more satisfying than being in agreement. Listen to this episode to hear how meeting your deepest emotional needs will lead to resolving conflict.
Featured topics include:
- The framework of Gabrielle's YES Method and how it encourages people to get along (12:50)
- Knowing when to shelve a conversation and take space (19:30)
- If you can understand what the other person really needs, you can settle almost any argument (24:47)
- Gabrielle explains what she means when she says, "Defensiveness is the enemy of resolution." (32:42)
- The VIR protocol: visualizing how you want things to be (36:14)
Learn more about Gabrielle Hartley, Esq.:
Gabrielle Hartley is co-chair of the American Bar Association Mediation Committee,
a divorce attorney, online mediator, founder of The Private Divorce Solution, and author of "Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate." Her new book "The Secret to Getting Along and Why It's Easier Than You Think" will be released this May. She offers a weekly newsletter, The Conflict Code" and hosts The Better Apart Blog and is a frequently quoted media expert in the peaceful divorce realm (The New York Times, Vice, WNYC, Forbes, Psychology Today,etc.) Gabrielle is former court attorney to NYS Supreme Court Judge Jeffrey Sunshine.
While writing her first book, Better Apart; The Radically Positive Way to Separate (HarperCollins2019) she realized that we all need to get along better in all facets of our lives. Gabrielle developed the YES Method based on more than 25 years working as a top divorce lawyer and mediator.
The Secret to Getting Along was recently selected as a Next Big Idea Club must-read and her Tedx Talk on her strategy has been viewed over 62 thousand times.
Resources & Links:
Information and links may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-215-the-secret-to-getting-along-with-gabrielle-hartley-esq/
Join me for a special Split UP: The TEEN Years screening event on Friday, May 12th! To secure your spot and get all the details, visit http://kateanthony.com/split.
A Conversation about the film Split UP: The TEEN Years with Christina McGhee and Ellen Bruno
Gabrielle's website
Gabrielle on Facebook
Gabrielle on Instagram
The Secret To Getting Along and Why It's Easier Than You Think
The Secret To Getting Along is Easier Than You Think TEDx Talk
TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY:
COZY EARTH
Cozy Earth is the world's foremost source of high-quality, authentic bamboo viscose bed linens. Listeners can enjoy this exclusive offer from Cozy Earth today: Receive 35% off site-wide when you use the code "DSG" at CozyEarth.com! Thanks to our sponsor, Cozy Earth, and thank you, listeners, for supporting this show!
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the Divorce Survival Guide podcast, where we have open and honest conversations about co-parenting, separation, divorce, and the hardest question of all, should you stay or should you go. |
| 0:17.8 | I'm Kate Anthony, your divorce survival guide, and I'm here to help you navigate some of |
| 0:23.3 | the roughest waters you've ever swum in and answer some of your toughest questions. I've been to |
| 0:29.1 | hell and back, and now it's my mission in life to help you get to the other side of this process |
| 0:35.1 | with your sanity and your heart intact. |
| 0:44.0 | Hey everyone, welcome back. So I just got back from the first ever divorce survival guide |
| 0:53.1 | retreat in which 12 women communed with me in Sedona, |
| 0:59.4 | Arizona, and it was truly more magical than I ever could have predicted or planned for. |
| 1:08.8 | We were at an amazing retreat center run by just incredible humans. |
| 1:14.8 | We had our meals prepared for us every day by chefs, Roxy and Shell, who prepared just the most |
| 1:26.0 | phenomenal tasting food, but they did it with intention and love and care, |
| 1:33.5 | and we just all felt so nurtured and cared for from start to finish. |
| 1:39.3 | And there were things about it that were mystical and impossible to have planned for that just, I think, blew me away for sure and just made everybody, like I said, feel so loved and cared for. |
| 1:56.4 | And we will be doing it again. |
| 1:58.8 | And we will be doing it at the same place because I can't even |
| 2:03.0 | imagine anywhere else to go at this point. So stay tuned. Obviously, it's not going to happen |
| 2:10.7 | probably this year. But we will, you know, this was the first time that I did it. And so I wanted to |
| 2:16.5 | make sure that this is something |
| 2:18.3 | that I was good at or wanted to do. And it turns out that I am pretty good at it and that I really |
| 2:26.5 | do want to continue. I also want to remind you that the screening of split Up the Teen Years is happening next week, Friday, May 12th at 11 a.m. |
| 2:43.4 | Pacific, 2 p.m. Eastern. And you can get your tickets for that at Kateanthony. com slash split we are having a live q and a |
| 2:53.9 | with christina mcgee and ellen bruno the filmmaker and myself so you don't want to miss that |
... |
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