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A Very Fatal Murder

Episode 2: What I Know And What I Don’t Know Yet

A Very Fatal Murder

The Onion

Comedy

4.13.2K Ratings

🗓️ 5 February 2018

⏱️ 12 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

David conducts preliminary interviews with those connected to the murder of Hayley Price.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

When I think about the murder of Haley Price, there are two things that are important.

0:05.4

That's what I know and what I don't.

0:07.7

Haley Price, 17 years old at time of death, 5 feet, 5 inches, life cut short in, senseless

0:14.2

act of violence.

0:15.3

I know that this is the most compelling murder in America.

0:18.3

I know that the victim was a supple young girl in the prime of her life, and I know that

0:22.0

she was killed by simultaneous gunshots stabbing strangling drowning.

0:25.8

Ethel, have the police charged anyone with the murder?

0:28.5

No, charges have been brought.

0:30.5

David, would you like me to email police with recommendations of people to charge with

0:34.9

the murder?

0:35.9

Not yet.

0:37.4

What I don't know is who did it.

0:40.0

And why?

0:41.0

I don't know why the Bluff Springs Police Department hasn't been able to catch a killer

0:44.4

in a town of 11,000.

0:46.0

I don't know why Haley was wearing another guy's class ring even though Brian is the total

0:49.9

package.

0:50.9

I don't know how many Pulitzer's I'm going to win for this podcast.

0:53.6

But this week, I'm looking for answers.

0:55.8

911, what's your emergency?

0:57.8

A full man?

...

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