Good morning and welcome to the Increaser Impact podcast. I'm Justin Sua, episode 2173. I was recently reminded of

Dr. Murray Bowen's research on family dynamic systems and a study that he did back in the 1950s,

when he noticed the difference between family members that lost themselves in the emotions of their

family members and others were able to stay calm and clear and cool, calm and collected

under stress. And he called this idea the differentiation of self. And all that really means

in simple terms is it's one's ability to think and act for

themselves while still staying connected to others. And it got me thinking about leaders and leadership.

Leaders who are less differentiated often get pulled into the emotions around them.

If the people around them are stressed, they become stressed.

If others are upset, they feel upset.

They are tightly connected to the emotions of the environment and of other people.

They depend on other people's opinions as well.

They really care about what other people think.

And there are two types of people who are tightly,

who are non-differentiated.

These are camillians who change what they think

and how they act to please others and then there are

bullies who try to push and shove everyone into their way of thinking and they're both really

doing the same thing they're relying on others to feel secure but well differentiated leaders those are

different beasts different types of people They can notice the emotions of others

without being controlled by them. If there's conflict or stress, they're able to stay calm

and clear-headed and make good decisions. They're able to separate facts from feelings and choose

...